Richard Sherman jerseys burned, fake peed on by Bay Area hipsters (Video)

People really hate Richard Sherman. As the #burnShermanJersey makes its wave on social media, we collect a few we thought were especially noteworthy.

It’s an occurrence as old as time itself. Ever since the prehistoric times when our cavemen ancestors gathered together and celebrated the first Super Bowl Sunday by playing with a football that was actually a tiny talking dinosaur (a la The Flintstones), fans from both sides of the teams going head-to-head show their dedication the only way they know how: by straight up burning the jerseys of the opposing team’s players.

#BitchardSherman

I’m sure nothing is gonna grill Sherman more than being called something a grade schooler could have come up with. As the big brother of someone named Richard, I can tell with certainty that he’s been hearing that one since he was in diapers.

F#ck the Seahawks!

These eloquent orators really stretched the limits of their verbiage in this video. “F#ck the Seahawks,” the first speaker announces boldly as he tosses a lit match onto the jersey. And as the flames erupt and dance in front of the camera, This was clearly filmed shortly after the video above, so Mrs. Bitchard Sherman pipes in with the only thing that comes to her head, “That’s so sick.”

Burn, Baby, Burn!

Just in case you guys didn’t catch it, this guy hates “the Sherman.” In a creepy yet charmingly enthusiastic video, this excitable hipster sets Sherman’s jersey on fire while making noises that should only be reserved for the bedroom. Since he’s holding the bottle like he’s taking a leak, I’m hoping that he doesn’t make those noises when he’s peeing in public.

Cooking with Alex

In case you all didn’t know, there’s a new show premiering on the Food Network, if you like eating burnt nylon with a side of first degree arson. It’s Cooking with Alex! In this clip from the show you can see Chef Alex smoking up a nice steak on the grill before showing audiences at home the main course: a completely out of control fire.

Let’s just hope that Chef Alex has the fire department on speed dial.

Snore

Who knew that someone could manage to make lighting something on fire — arguably one of the coolest things to watch — as exciting as a warm glass of milk. Seriously, you’ll be more bored than Michael Vick at a PETA meeting.

This guy looks like Hipster vomit

The Bay Area hipster is strong in this one, but even hipsters might have to do a double take when looking at this guy. He’s like a powerful singularity of irony. Thick rimmed glasses, check. Sweater, check. Toms, check. But what really rounds out this dude’s look are the short shorts. Nothing quite like a healthy dose of man thigh to make you want to lose your lunch.

If you got it, flaunt it, I guess.

Juggle Bandit

Is that some sort of fire juggling bank robber? Or is he going to set a Sherman jersey on fire? In this video, a dude is gunning real hard for the next Darwin Award by showing off his less than impressive fire juggling skills. Judging by his bandana mask, I assumed he went to rob the nearest liquor store after setting the jersey on fire.

Richard Sherman’s D#ck

Aside from being on top of what looks like to be a high-rise building, this dude goes on to mumble something about Sherman’s genitals. Can only assume his fascination with him doesn’t end there.

Drain the Main Vein

This one comes from the Director of Business Development from a respected company. Coincidentally enough, the company whose app has shared all of these videos. It is also the same company whose building is right across from AT&T Park– which you can see in the background of many of these videos. Exactly where most of these videos were filmed. Perhaps this is all just a marketing ploy?

Despite this, the only video attached to his account is this one of him pretending to urinate on a piece of fabric. He even has the gall to tell Sherman to “get off his high horse.” This coming from a man who probably has better things to do than setting a jersey on fire.

Just Stop. Please. Stop.

I’m actually writing this from a computer in a library now, because after playing this video, I took my laptop and threw it off of an overpass. That voice isn’t going to win her any love on “American Idol,” that’s for sure. Aside from how incredibly grating this girl is, she doesn’t seem to even know how many Super Bowls the Pats have actually won. Some fan.

Okay, no. This guy is too hipstery for hipsters

Holy lord. This guy is like the hipster from which all hipsters originate. I bet he burnt his tongue a lot, because he always ate his food before it was cool. This guy only takes the subway because it’s underground. He looks like an extra in the scene in Forrest Gump when he gives the speech to all the hippies. I bet he never swims in the ocean, because it’s too current. I wonder what kind of fixed gear bike he has. I bet he has his own podcast.