Critics hate Jupiter Ascending

Critic reviews indicate that Jupiter Ascending is in fact descending

Jupiter Ascending, the $175 million space opera starring Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis, looked equal parts visually impressive and dramatically hollow from the various trailers released over the last few months.

With the movie out in select theaters tonight, and a wide-release tomorrow, critics released a barrage of negative reviews that confirm suspensions of a terrible movie.

Ascending was supposed to come out last year, however, it was suddenly pushed back 10 months mere weeks before its release. The reason given was that the special effects needed more time to be completed. 10 months later, and the only positive thing about this movie cited in reviews is the effects.

Was it worth the wait? See for yourself.

Without the special effects, most critics feel that there is not a single redeeming quality about Jupiter Ascending. The story, the ham-fisted science-fiction elements, the pacing, the acting, the subplots, and the dialogue were all torn apart both by critics and audience members that got advance screening tickets.

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A review from IndieWire states, “Having built their careers on creative world building and groundbreaking action sequences, it’s almost astonishing to see the Wachowskis’ flounder so hard as such.” The quote is referencing the Wachowskis’ (the sibling directorial duo) work on The Matrix trilogy. They are known for inventing and implementing the”bullet time” shot, a shot in which, for example, someone dodges a bullet in slow motion as the camera moves around them at a normal pace. This term is even trademarked by Warner Bros.

A review from Business Insider touches on the sub-par story:

"“I don’t remember the last time I’ve said “What is going on right now?” (not in those actual words) so many times during a film screening to myself. This isn’t because I couldn’t follow the movie’s plot, it was just because what was occurring on screen: the dialogue, the acting, the strange-looking characters were all so bizarre at points that there was no other way to react.”"

The plot is described as follows:

"Jupiter Jones (Kunis) was born under a night sky, with signs predicting that she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning toilets and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along – her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos."

Jupiter Ascending estimated to make $19 million this weekend, and will likely place 2nd next to The Spongebob Movie: Out of Water. I’m guessing the Spongebob movie didn’t need $175 million to rise to the top.

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