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Hardwood Paroxysm Presents: NBA Midseason Super-Overreactionizer

By HP Basketball Network

Jan 9, 2015; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Indiana Pacers forward Paul George (13) works on his dribbling during warmups before the game against the Boston Celtics at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports
Jan 9, 2015; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Indiana Pacers forward Paul George (13) works on his dribbling during warmups before the game against the Boston Celtics at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports /
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Feb 14, 2015; New York, NY, USA; Eastern Conference guard Jimmy Butler of the Chicago Bulls (21, left) and guard John Wall of the Washington Wizards (2, right) talk during practice at Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 14, 2015; New York, NY, USA; Eastern Conference guard Jimmy Butler of the Chicago Bulls (21, left) and guard John Wall of the Washington Wizards (2, right) talk during practice at Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports /

Jimmy Butler No Longer Humble, Hometown Kid

By Brian Schroeder (@Cosmis) — Hardwood Paroxysm

Please forgive me.

When Jimmy Butler sat out the last game before the All-Star break, you might have thought he was hurt. Instead, he was simply gathering his strength for Sunday’s All-Star Game, where he could hang out with his friends LeFraud James and Fraudmelo Anthony and laugh about how much they’ve all pulled the wool over the collective eyes of the city of Chicago. I bet Pau and Marc Gasol were there, talking about how neither of them has ever played defense even once in all the four times I’ve seen them play. Derrick and Reggie Rose were probably there, too, laughing along with everyone else. Laughing at you. Laughing at me. Laughing at Jerry Reinsdorf along with all the other selfish, lazy players who stole this league from the owners who created and who you choose to spend your hard-earned dollars to see sitting on the sidelines or in their private boxes, watching the sport they created with all the passion of bored God on a grecian urn.

When Mr. Reinsdorf rescued Jimmy Butler from the streets of Tomball, Texas, he did so under the impression that Butler was a hard worker, a real Chicago kid, one of Mike Ditka’s Grabowskis, not some spoiled Hollywood brat who steals money from you and your children’s mouths to play in a glorified exhibition game instead of a heated division contest. Maybe he and LeChoke had a deal that if Jimmy didn’t play, LeBum would throw him some lobs on Sunday night! It’s this sort of collusion that has really ruined this league. Can you imagine the owners all working together to steal money from the players! It’s ridiculous!

When Jimmy Butler declined the Bulls’ very generous offer to put YOUR TAXPAYER MONEY into his bloated bank account, he said that he was “gambling on himself,” daring to have the unmitigated gall to compare himself to Michael Jordan by proxy. Well, Jimmy (I call you Jimmy because James is a man’s name and you obviously aren’t!), for all his faults, at least Michael Jeffery Jordan had the good sense to pay his owner back by playing so many years for the White Sox. Mr. Reinsdorf himself, to his credit, still believes in Jimmy Butler. This past weekend he was quoted as saying that he “loves Johnny Butler,” following it up with the proclamation that “Jason Butler is the future of this team,” before he was distracted by someone in a Paul Konerko jersey and scuttled off.

Those on the internet would tell you that their precious advanced stats say that Jimmy Butler is the Bulls’ best player, that according to SportVU, he’s run more miles than anyone in the NBA, that he plays each and every one of his minutes like his hair is on fire, but what do they know? They’ve never been in a locker room. I was in a locker room in high school, and I can tell you that my teammates at my prep school would rather play with a guy like Kirk Hinrich, a REAL LEADER, than a tall, lanky kid from a small town in Texas. If Jimmy Butler really cared about the people of Chicago, he’d either accept the lowest offer the Bulls feel like offering him instead of running off to chase a big pay day like those bums Luol Deng and Kyle Korver. He won’t, of course, because he cares more about being paid at an amount commesurate to his skills and services than SACRIFICING for the city he purports to love. Just like Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler is no longer a humble, hometown kid.

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