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Kentucky Wildcats fan considers naming child after John Calipari

By Josh Criswell

Apr 2, 2015; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Kentucky Wildcats head coach John Calipari speaks to the media during a press conference before the 2015 NCAA Men
Apr 2, 2015; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Kentucky Wildcats head coach John Calipari speaks to the media during a press conference before the 2015 NCAA Men /
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One eccentric Kentucky fan is giving serious thought to naming her first-born child after the team’s beloved Coach Cal. 

In recent years, America has seen a horrific display of terrible baby names emerging, often times for even worse reasons.

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One Kentucky Wildcats fanatic, Kindly Myers, could very well be the next individual to follow this trend. If all goes to plan, her child is going to bear a name that is a tribute to coach John Calipari. Of course, this plan is only on if Coach Cal and the Wildcats bring the NCAA Championship back to Lexington on Monday.

Deciding the name of your first-born child based on the outcome of a sporting event is moronic by any standard. That being said, at least her future child will have a name that isn’t too outlandish. Myers is also apparently a big fan of Willie Cauley-Stein — which isn’t a bad name at all.

"“I could definitely have a little girl named Cali,” Myers said. “I’m also a big Willie Cauley-Stein fan.”"

A girl named Cali or a boy named Willie would be a perfectly normal name, giving at least some hope of saving this hypothetical child from a lifetime of embarrassment.

Sadly, some children are not so lucky. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West wanted to go with a directional name, and that they did exactly that, naming her North West. It literally does not get much more directional than that.

The first big story of sport-related baby names came from the small town of Pampa Texas, where Rebecca and Michael McCall decided to name their baby ESPN. Their story behind why they choose the name is possibly even worse than the name itself; it began as a joke after hearing about another couple who named their son Espen.

"Rebecca McCall told the Amarillo Globe-News, “(Michael) looked at me and said, ‘That’s a cool name.”"

The rest is history. If it is any consolation, the name has a fairly normal pronunciation of “Espen”, saving friends, classmates and teachers from having to spell out the sports media conglomerate anytime they need his attention.

The most recent example of extreme fanhood taking over the baby-naming process came a little over a month ago by this lovely couple and Pittsburg Penguins enthusiasts.

At least for young Malkin Crosby Long and Kindly Myers future child, their names will have at least some sense of normality, and should save them some significant grief their peers.

North West and Espn McCall, we send you our hopes and prayers, and future Cali’s and Willie’s everywhere are laughing at you and your ridiculous names.

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