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3 things Kevin Durant should be doing instead of watching the NBA playoffs

By Luke Dahlgren

Mar 13, 2015; Oklahoma City, OK, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder forward Kevin Durant (35) looks up at the scoreboard during action against the Minnesota Timberwolves during the fourth quarter at Chesapeake Energy Arena. Mandatory Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 13, 2015; Oklahoma City, OK, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder forward Kevin Durant (35) looks up at the scoreboard during action against the Minnesota Timberwolves during the fourth quarter at Chesapeake Energy Arena. Mandatory Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports /
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The injured Oklahoma City Thunder forward said that he will be avoiding watching the NBA playoffs this season after the team was eliminated Wednesday night.

Reigning NBA MVP Kevin Durant has spent the playoff push during the Oklahoma City Thunder’s season ending stretch rocking the T-shirt plus blazer combination (see above).

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As fetching as Durant looks on the bench, the team sorely missed his presence in the lineup, falling out of the playoffs due to a losing tie-breaker to the New Orleans Pelicans. Scott Brooks runs the “clogged toilet” offense to perfection, and while the team has been kept afloat by the efforts of Russell Westbrook, Durant’s deadly offense acts as the plunger to that clogged toilet.

Rather than torture himself any further with what could have been for the Thunder, Durant has closed the book on 2014-15.

While Durant avoids the sweet croaks of Charles Barkley and the tepid whine of Reggie Miller, he will need some other moving pictures to distract him from the inevitability of death and the meaninglessness of the modern condition like the rest of America, at least while his foot heals.

Recently, Kevin Durant has brushed up on some jurisprudence.

I think I sympathize with the prosecution on that one. If he knew it was as easy as a few basketball puns, then maybe he wouldn’t have wasted years of his life at Columbia Law School.

If games happen during the daytime, then this is an ideal time for Durant to turn on The People’s Court, maybe brush up on some dubiously allotted justice. Durant already has no room for sass.

He also has no room for law school, so Judge Marilyn Milian will have to do.

He can also turn off the TV, maybe take up chess in the park. Being the Slim Reaper should probably require at least a working set of skills at chess; he may be forced to challenge Dion Waiters to a match for his soul. He doesn’t have to be Bobby Fischer, but he needs to be at least better than the schmuck outside the bus stop.

Finally, Durant could decide to crawl into a good book. Maybe he could read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. The hero, Jurgis Rudkus, is forced to work in a factory in Chicago to survive, but loses out on his job because of a work related injury, forcing his family into a downward spiral.

On second thought, just turn on the TV, KD.

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