The Weekside: Chris Paul and Blake Griffin Save the Playoffs Opening Weekend

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LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Love each put up good numbers as the Cleveland Cavaliers cruised to a 1-0 series lead over the Boston Celtics. Since the Beantown boys “big three” are Isaiah Thomas, Avery Bradley and … Evan Turner (?), you wouldn’t think an expected home-court win would be much cause for celebration. Yet here they were, tossing confetti around. No word thus far on when the parade starts. (In fairness to the Cavs, several other teams do this regularly as well. Doesn’t make it any less silly. Mostly, I feel bad for the arena crew that has to clean it all up.)

The Grizzlies dominated the undermanned Trail Blazers. Though they lit up the scoreboard (scoring 86 points through three quarters), there was also plenty of evidence that Portland is going to have an uncomfortable series playing in the mud. They held the Blazers to a miserable 33.7% shooting as Damian Lillard and LaMarcus Aldridge struggled, hitting just 18-of-55 (32.7%) shots. Beating Memphis was going to be a tough task no matter what, but if Portland can’t handle the physicality of the series and fight better than this, then this series is going to be over quickly.

The Atlanta Hawks didn’t look great in Game 1, but the biggest issue was Al Horford dislocating his finger. It was a nasty sight, with his pinky flaring out at a right angle after it popped out of socket. It seemed fitting that Lionel Hollins was on … hand … to see the incident, since he knows that pain more than any person should. Let’s hope Horford doesn’t have any lasting effects — both in terms of his game this postseason and walking around looking like Hollins for the rest of his life.

Derrick Rose wowed the Chicago faithful in his return to the postseason, resembling his MVP days by dropping 23 points on 16 shots. If he can continue to run the offense like this and attack the rim, the Bulls are a much more dangerous team. And as much as his forays to the rim and sweet shooting was a joy to see, his shot chart was a thing of beauty for the analytics fans among us. He took nothing but layups and 3s.

Sunsets, Bloody Marys at brunch, Jadakiss freestyles, the laughter of children, and touch passes — there are no finer things.

Anthony Davis turned 22 years old last month. He scored 35 points in his playoff debut — and didn’t even have a good game until the fourth quarter. There is no way the Hornets can threaten the Warriors, but if there were any people who weren’t fully aware that The Brow is a top five player in this league (and that may be insulting him), they will know by the end of this series.

The closest game of the weekend was the first game of the weekend. But it certainly wasn’t a first-rate game, as the Wizards and Raptors spent most of Saturday afternoon stumbling around the hardwood and punting the ball towards the rim. Both teams shot below 40% from the field, and they combined to make 12-of-50 (24%) from 3-point range. The game went to overtime, so that created some drama, but the Randy Wittman Experience was tough to watch all game long and culminated in the above clip, which is equal parts awkward and nails-on-a-chalkboard spine-cringing to watch. And this is the team that won.

Raptors GM Masai Ujiri headlined a pep rally before his team’s opening game for the second straight season. And, for the second straight season, he used some potty language, saying that “we don’t give a s***” about some Paul Pierce trash talk after saying “F*** Brooklyn” last year. The NBA fined Ujiri and the team a combined $60,000, and league commissioner Adam Silver, who attended the game in Toronto, was reportedly quite upset with the Raptors’ boss. More than anything, it’s fitting that the two most interesting moments came in the forms of cursing and white-board confusion.

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