Hardwood Paroxysm Presents: The NBA Playoff Super-Overreactionizer

Spare us your reasonable logic and lukewarm takes — they have no place here. This is a place reserved for passion, for Opinions. The playoffs are rolling and the Golden State Warriors and Chicago Bulls are inevitable Finals’ opponents. Tim Duncan is eternal, Kyle Lowry is a disaster and Josh Smith is the Houston Rockets’ savior. That’s right folks, the SUPER-OVERREACTIONIZER is back.

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Josh Smith Playing His Way Into a Max Deal

by Bryan Toporek (@btoporek) — Mid-Level Exceptional

Ever since acquiring Dwight Howard and James Harden, Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey has been in dogged pursuit of a third max-caliber superstar to complete his team’s Big Three.

Little did he know, he’d acquire said player off the scrap heap.

As it turns out, Josh Smith — who the Detroit Pistons waived in December — is the missing piece to Houston’s championship puzzle. In the fourth quarter of Game 2 against the Dallas Mavericks, Smith and Dwight Howard, pals since their AAU days together, turned Houston into the new Lob City. The look on the face of Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said it all. 

With Smith back to his stat-stuffing ways, nothing can stop Houston from bulldozing their way to a title this year. The Clippers or Spurs will be no match for the high-flying circus act taking up residency in Houston. The Splash Brothers will crumble at the sight of the Dwight-and-Smoove duo in the Western Conference Finals. Whichever pitiful team emerges from the East will have no chance of stopping the Rockets in the NBA Finals. And once that happens, Morey has no choice but to reward Smith with a max contract this summer.

Sure, you might say, “Wait… aren’t the Pistons paying Smith $20-plus million over the next half-decade to not play basketball for them?” To that, J-Smoove skeptics, I have only one retort: COUNT THE (SOON-TO-BE) RINGZZZZZZZ. 

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