The list of rejected nicknames for the University of North Dakota is incredible

Student submissions for new nickname at North Dakota University range from the strange to the crazy

Looking to move on from their “Fighting Sioux” nickname, the University of North Dakota held an open submission period from April 1 through 30 during which anyone was able to submit any nickname for consideration.

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As you might expect, this left the school with, in addition to the 214 pages of nicknames still under consideration, a variety of bizarre and unusable nickname suggestions–628 pages of them in fact. The contest was clearly taken very seriously by everyone involved: submissions include “the Fighting Nazis,” “KushMasters420ForLyfe,” which would really look good on the front of a jersey, and hundreds of submissions of “Fighting Sioux” from people who apparently don’t understand the concept of change.

The full list of ineligible nicknames can be found here, if you have it in you to read a full novel’s worth of suggestions. For those who don’t (which should be most of you), here are a few of the best (and worst) submissions.

Name: BearManPig
Rationale: Because it’s awesome

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the 2015 North Dakota BearManPig!

Name: Big Stupid Goons
Rationale: fits

What exactly does this fit? The school? The state? The athletic program? That’s not exactly a very helpful rationale.

Name: BOOM or BOOM!
Rationale: The word BOOM! evokes a feeling of great excitement and power. / Imagine thousands of UND fans cheering “UND BOOM!” .wow!…Gives me chills!

Someone got way too excited.

Name: Boobs
Rationale:Boobs are great. Lets glorify boobs instead of being racist.

Can’t argue with the logic here.

Name: Fighting Boys Named Sue
Rationale: You oughta thank me before I die for the gravel in your guts and the spit in your eye, ’cause I’m the sonofabitch that named you Sue.

I’m sure the athletes would be thrilled to wear this name. Women’s teams especially.

Name: Kurt Russells
Rationale: have you seen miracle? i know you have because you play the clip at every hockey game. he was in tombstone too! BAD ASS

Solid rationale.

Name: Canadians
Rationale: All of your players are from Canada and you have Tim Hortons.

Well reasoned.

Name: abcdefghjklmnpqrtvwyz
Rationale: The letters s, i, o, u, and x have deleted from the alphabet because we are not the sioux

You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty well reasoned. Also, impossible to pronounce.

Name: A holes fr Grand Fks,
Rationale: I am an NDSU allum &I I have always called UND folks that!

…

Name: Fighting Hanks
Rationale: Tom Hanks is awesome

This one really fits into the spirit of North Dakota. On the plus side, Tom Hanks would probably be on board.

Name: Wait five more years
Rationale: we need more time

I’d hate to see the length of the list that could be compiled over five years.