Fansided

The Patriots have a DeflateGate truther site and it’s spectacularly terrible

By Josh Hill

Feb 1, 2015; Glendale, AZ, USA;New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft celebrates winning Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 1, 2015; Glendale, AZ, USA;New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft celebrates winning Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports /
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The New England Patriots are not happy about the Ted Wells report on DeflateGate and have created a DeflateGate truther site as a result of their rage.

Get your tinfoil hats out, New England, you finally have a place to flock to to have your own Close Encounters moment over DeflateGate.

In response to the Ted Wells report, the New England Patriots have issued a rebuttal in a way that your Uncle Bob living in his trailer out in the desert would appreciate. Rather than hold a press conference, the Patriots have straight up created a website to refute the Wells Report on DeflateGate.

God bless the things we can do with the internet.

Really, the only thing that would make this better, if it was in old code from the 1990s and required both a dial-up connection and an old AOL disc to access the internet. The Patriots are going back in time and devoting a website to poking holes in the Wells Report.

If you don’t have time to read the hilarious response from the Patriots to the Ted Wells report, here are the highlights:

  • The ‘Deflator’ reference is all about weight loss and not footballs
  • Those text messages are just two guys goofing around
  • Deflating a football requires NASA level intelligence, apparently
  • It’s normal to lock yourself in the bathroom with a bag of footballs
  • Science is complicated, so it can’t be used in simple terms like deflating a football
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The single best thing about this truther site is that the Patriots stand behind it. There are really stupid things to be a truther about, but this is a cause worth supporting based on the absurdity of it alone. This goes so far beyond handcuffing yourself to one another inside of league offices — this is some business that requires the service of Mulder and Scully to figure out.

The truth is out there, and Robert Kraft wants us to know he found it, locked it in a bathroom and gave it a degree in rocket science.

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