Fansided

If Von Miller passes gas, the Denver Broncos pass him a fine

By Kyle Franzoni

Oct 5, 2014; Denver, CO, USA; Denver Broncos outside linebacker Von Miller (58) celebrates as sack in the second quarter against the Arizona Cardinals at Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 5, 2014; Denver, CO, USA; Denver Broncos outside linebacker Von Miller (58) celebrates as sack in the second quarter against the Arizona Cardinals at Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports /
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The Denver Broncos have a unique approach to fighting the rise of methane gas in team meetings; fining the person who passed it.

There are many places in this world where passing gas just is not appreciated. Elevators, restaurants, school classrooms, or even churches should be considered off limits when it comes to relieving one’s built up gases.

Apparently we can add NFL team meetings to the list of no-fart zones.

According to Nicki Jhablava of the Denver Post, the Denver Broncos have had to institute a system of fines that can be doled out to players or coaches who decided to fumigate the team meeting rooms. And chief among those being busted for breaking wind; linebacker Von Miller.

Of course Miller appears to be taking a stance against the system in general, more likely because he’s being targeted by it. I’d be more worried about what my compatriots might due to me if I subjected them to the burrito I ate for lunch. Of course, at 6’3″, 237 pounds and having a reputation for mashing quarterbacks, Von Miller doesn’t necessarily have to worry about what other people in the room think. If he’s going to pass gas in the meeting, he’s going to let it go and dare you to step up and say something about it.

However, I’m more curious how the Broncos deduce who was responsible for the insidious cloud. Do they rely on audible system to determine the source or do they fall back on the old, reliable “whoever smelt it dealt it” principle?

Regardless, Miller is correct in his assessment that it isn’t healthy to hold them in. According to Natural Health 365, holding in your gas can lead to pockets in the intestinal lining called diverticula. That could lead to a life-threatening condition called diverticulitis if those pockets become infected. As badly as I’m sure Miller wants to please his bosses and not offend his co-workers, I’m sure he also want to look after his long-term health as well.

So you keep pushing them out when you feel the need Von. Just keep a couple of extra dollars in your pocket to help pay those fines and perhaps pick up some scented candles to ease the suffering of your teammates.

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