NBA Finals: 5 things to know before Game 5

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Jun 11, 2015; Cleveland, OH, USA; Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Curry (30) handles the ball against Cleveland Cavaliers guard Matthew Dellavedova (8) during the third quarter in game four of the NBA Finals at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports /

3. Coffee is a *wink wink* performance enhancer

Because of Matthew Dellavedova — who went from breakout star and champion of gritty high-hustle guys everywhere to overrated laughingstock in about 72 hours, because Sports Twitter is really good at moderation, perspective, and rationality — coffee is in the news again, which is great because the last time that coffee was in the mainstream news, it was when Starbucks decided that not-yet-caffeinated people waiting for their morning cups of sugar and sorta-coffee-like substance wanted nothing more than to be dragged into a conversation about race by a twentysomething. Dellavedova’s coffee habit — or, as I like to call it, his “necessary method of getting through the day, because how the Hell do you non-coffee drinkers do it?” — came to light after he was hospitalized with cramps following his spectacular Game 3 performance, which lead to him telling the press that he would be forgoing his usual pregame coffee consumption before Game 4. Delly, as we in his inner circle get to call him, then went out and proceeded to be bullied around all game, which lead to the you-bet-your-ass-correlation-is-causation crowd to wonder if his lack of coffee contributed to his poor performance…

… To which I say, yes, obviously, because a recent study has shown that coffee can help men maintain performance where it counts — the bedroom (or as I like to call it, the slay dungeon *cans of Natty Light and Entourage movie posters fall from the ceiling like confetti*). Look, if you’re really inclined to do so, you can go all basketball nerd and provide a GIF-by-GIF breakdown of how Golden State’s defensive strategies kept Dellavedova in check, or you can think about how he struggled to perform, how it looked like he wasn’t playing hard, how he had trouble finishing, how his whole steez seemed a little limp, and then laugh and laugh and laugh, because immaturity and timelessness are pretty much the same thing.

Next: 2. Anthony Davis deserves better than Pixels

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