2015 NBA Free Agency featuring TINY TABLES
By Ian Levy
Who’s the start of the 2015 NBA Free Agency? It’s not DeAndre Jordan or LaMarcus Aldridge. No, it’s TINY TABLES.
BIG PLAYERS. Tiny tables. BIG PLAYERS. Tiny tables. BIG PLAYERS. Tiny tables.
.@rolopez42 in the building to ink his new deal w/ the #Knicks! pic.twitter.com/nhPRVXtoDB
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) July 9, 2015
That is Robin Lopez signing his new deal ON A TINY TABLE. In fact, all of the Knicks players signed on a tiny table.
Affla-low Table pic.twitter.com/kQm1iGAIeU
— Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) July 9, 2015
That’s Arron Afflalo signing on a LOW TINY TABLE. BIG PLAYER. Tiny table.
https://twitter.com/NY_KnicksPR/status/619209514693316608
Kyle O’Quinn is a massive human, and that makes him signing on a TINY LITTLE TABLE wonderful.
https://twitter.com/NY_KnicksPR/status/556499049801850881
Look at Langston Galloway getting in on the TINY TABLE fun.
Great to see @Derr13k sign his new deal w/ the #Knicks today at MSG Training Center! pic.twitter.com/H6HsNW5bXp
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) July 9, 2015
Derrick Williams has incredible hair. He is also signing on a TINY TABLE.
Kevin Love signed on a normal table. Not as cool. Actually, does this deal even count? If it wasn’t signed on a tiny table then it’s not even real.
It's official, #DubNation. pic.twitter.com/lvG3TlfFEE
— Golden State Warriors (@warriors) July 9, 2015
The same goes for Draymond Green. Lack of tiny table means lack of legitimacy in the signing.
https://twitter.com/extramediumalex/status/619211186383552515
Men In Black is a great movie. Wanna know why? It has a tiny table.
The lesson here? Tiny tables are the future. This is how the conversation to get the table probably went.
The Knicks need to become relevant again so we can have bigger names singing to tinier tables.
BIG PLAYERS. Tiny tables. BIG PLAYERS. Tiny tables.