Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time
By Stu White
2. Seattle’s Lime Green Uniforms
Here is how I imagine the pitch meeting went when these ghastly uniforms were approved:
OUT OF TOUCH EXECUTIVE 1: Guys, we need something new. Something exciting. Something that will pop. Something, let’s see — *checks note cards* — friggity-friggity fresh.
OUT OF TOUCH EXECUTIVE 2: What do the kids like these days? What is, uh, fly? *flaps arms like a bird*
DESIGNER: Well, we did some research and —
MARKETER *interrupting*: — And we found that the kids are really digging lime green.
EXECUTIVE 1: Lime green?
EXECUTIVE 2: Go on…
DESIGNER: See, kids these days really think the ‘80s were something special.
EXECUTIVE 1: They do? I lived through the ‘80s. They were horrible. Well, they were horrible for everyone who did not like Ronald Reagan and Huey Lewis.
EXECUTIVE 2 *mumbling to self*: Soviet bastards…
DESIGNER: Yes, well, it is odd, I admit, but florescent highlighter colors are totally in.
MARKETER: And “in” means “hip,” just so you know.
EXECUTIVE 1: I see…
EXECUTIVE 2: Are we sure about this? Pardon me, but the lime green seems a bit obnoxious.
MARKETER: You say “obnoxious,” I say “in your face.”
DESIGNER: You say “obnoxious,” I say “distinguishing.”
MARKETER: Think about how male birds attract mates in the wild. They don’t do it with muted earth tones.
DESIGNER: The lime green will make us stand out. It will make people take notice. And kids these days want to be noticed, want to wear stuff that is loud and startling.
EXECUTIVE 2: Hmm.
EXECUTIVE 1: I think it’s genius. OK, great meeting, team. Let’s reward ourselves with fat bonuses and go crush the labor strike that’s brewing amongst the concessions workers.
EXECUTIVE 2: It’s what Reagan would’ve wanted.
Next: 1. You know what it is