Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time
By Stu White
10. Detroit’s Thanksgiving Uniforms
Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays. Each year millions of people drink enough alcohol to feel uninhibited when it comes to
talking
screaming about politics at the dinner table, almost coming to blows before being interrupted by the bespectacled college freshman cousin who is on break from his liberal arts school and has a lot of things to say about the “true” story of the first Thanksgiving, who is then ganged-up on by the rest of the family because nobody likes their turkey and stuffing to come with a side of uncomfortable historical facts about genocide and white privilege. Then everyone, bloated and intoxicated, waddles over to the TV to watch the Detroit Lions lose. It’s American tradition at its finest.
However, for a few years the Lions made things uncomfortable for everyone by wearing the dullest uniforms imaginable. Seriously, there are JV high school teams with better uniforms. Not only did the Lions occupy our airwaves with their special brand of on-field mediocrity, they did so while wearing uniforms that looked like something some dude started designing in the franchise mode of Madden but then abandoned because he was too stoned to make any definite decisions.
Look, Thanksgiving is a time for heated emotions and strong reactions, and for a few years the Lions let down this great nation by wearing the textile equivalent of elevator music. Boring is not always ugly, but anyone who supported those uninspired jerseys probably also thinks that cranberry sauce should come from a can, which is to say someone who is very, very wrong.
Next: 9. San Francisco goes dark