Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time
By Stu White
5. Denver’s Throwback Uniforms
Is it fair to put throwback jerseys on this list? Eh, probably not. It seems a bit like punching down, which is something that people on Facebook tell me is very, very unacceptable and symptomatic of widespread cultural ignorance. But I am brave and heroic and refuse to allow the fascistic PC police to cudgel me into silence, especially when it comes to assessing the ugliness of Denver’s throwback jerseys, which are indeed ugly.
Look, it is not as if the Sunkist orange and powder blue jerseys worn by the Broncos during the early Elway years were all that wonderful, but holy cow are those throwback jerseys a mess. As someone who used to wear a lot of brown — like, as someone who wore brown dress shoes and light brown khakis and a brown button-up shirt to school and thought he looked damn good — let me tell you that rocking brown is not an attractive look. Combined with yellow, it is positively sickening. On that appalling combination alone, Denver’s throwback uniforms are a travesty.
But then you get to the socks.
I am not sure which decade Denver’s throwbacks are from, and I am too lazy to open up a new tab and Google it, but I am confident in saying that if I owned a time machine I would travel to the past and stop the person responsible for thinking thick vertical stripes look good from going forth with his indefensible design. Seriously, those socks look like the most depressing Dr. Seuss characters ever. If the Broncos never bring out those socks again, I will weep with gratitude.
Next: 4. C'mon, Philly