Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time
By Stu White
3. Pittsburgh’s Throwback Uniforms
OK, last throwback, I swear. But just feast your eyes on these horror shows. Revel in their stupefying absurdity. If you are ever having a day where you do not feel at all beautiful, just pull up a photo of these abominations and remind yourself that there are things in this world whose ugliness you can’t surpass. It’s comforting, in a way.
I am not opposed to stripes. Stripes are fine and good. But these bold stripes, when combined with jersey numbers that look weirdly plastered on, like the designer initially forgot to include them and had to affix them at the last possible second before the team took the field, are just plain ol’ ugly. The stripes make the athletes look like the worst Bee Movie cosplayers in history. They look like a team of ruby players captured by the Honey Nut Cheerios mascot and forced to be servants in his dictatorial kingdom. The stripes take all that things that are intimidating about the team’s brand and neuters them. To top it off, the ensemble includes khaki-colored pants, which should never be seen on the football field unless they are covering the legs of fashion icon Jim Harbaugh.
(All that said, at least Pittsburgh doesn’t have the absolute worst throwback uniforms. That dubious honor goes to the Green Bay Packers, who have throwbacks so unsightly that I do not feel comfortable or safe linking to a picture to them. I am not entirely cruel, after all.)
Next: 2. Seattle goes lime green