NBA mascots v. Robin Lopez

People of the court, we are a couple months away from the beginning of the 2015-2016 NBA season. Before teams are able to take the floor, there is an issue that must be addressed. No, it is not the imbalance between the conferences, nor is it the rules regarding intentional fouls. Rather, it is a problem that is larger than us all.

As a league, we should provide a working environment that is safe and suitable for all. Unfortunately, it is apparent that this hasn’t been a reality for a particular group in the last couple of years.

The mascots are an integral part of the NBA. Everyone knows it! Simply put, they have been served injustice recently. While they are trying to entertain the people by dunking off of trampolines or firing t-shirts into the stands, they have been the target of an all-out assault. You may ask: who would do such thing? Well, the assailant is none other than New York Knicks’ center Robin Lopez.

For nearly two years now, Mr. Lopez has been badgering the beloved representatives of our teams. As fans of basketball and human beings, I believe it to be our moral obligation to make a stand.

Granted, I don’t have a law degree. What I do have is the Internet, a lot of free time and the belief that it is my sole purpose to defend the furry characters that help celebrate this great association.

Here are the facts:

We should have seen this coming. We really should have. The first victim was the mascot of the Detroit Pistons, Hooper.

Not only was this tweet a threat to Hooper, but it was a threat to the safety of all mascots. Lopez’s first attack took place that night. The date was December 15th, 2013.

During warmups for the Pistons-Trailblazers game, Hooper was sporting a wig to poke fun at Mr. Lopez. What seemed to be a fun practical joke turned out to be so much more. Lopez struck Hooper multiple times, stole his hairpiece and walked away as he made vile gestures. This would not be the last encounter between these two.

A year passed before Mr. Lopez attacked again. He was presumably plotting and planning his next move in the feud against the mascots.

December 9th, 2014

The Portland Trailblazers were visiting the Detroit Pistons. This was the night that Lopez commited his 2nd offense, and once again, the victim was Hooper.

This time around, Robin corralled Hooper in one of the tunnels of the Palace of Auburn Hills, carried him and ultimately tossed him aside like an old comic book.

10 days later, Lopez had another violent outburst in San Antonio and even a broken right hand couldn’t hinder him.

The Coyote engaged the aggressor, but the big man forced him to the hardwood with such force that the mascot lost his eyes. With the aid of a Spurs employee, the Coyote was able to make an escape.

Another month or so passes before the next interaction between Lopez and a mascot. Two days before Portland traveled to Cleveland, the Cavaliers mascot, Moondog, took to Twitter:

Although Moondog may have intended well, I believe this just provoked Lopez to commit more vicious acts.

On January 30th, Atlanta’s Harry the Hawk decided to take action. He gathered up several other mascots as well as “Anti-Mascot Violence” protestors in Phillips Arena to confront Lopez.

To resolve their differences peacefully, Harry and Robin partook in a staring contest. However, after Harry became victorious, Robin’s rage overcame him as he shoved the hallowed hawk to the ground.

February passed and all was well. However, March would turn out to be a dangerous time for NBA mascots.

On March 15th, 2015, the Trail Blazers were in Canada to face the Raps. Both Harry the Hawk and Toronto’s mascot, the Raptor, were pushed to the floor by Mr. Lopez.

A day later in the nation’s capital, the Wizard’s mascot, G. Wiz, challenged Robin to a boxing match. Lopez gave G a swift right hook, and it was over. Mr. Lopez then had the audacity to stand over his foe.

Lopez’s next stop on his ruthless campaign was Orlando. After Stuff the Magic Dragon teased Robin with a sign, the Mascot Mugger grabbed Orlando’s mascot and threw him to the court.

A fatal mistake was made by Griz, Memphis’ mascot, on the night of March 21st, 2015 in Blues City.

After making a fake peace offering with Lopez, Griz stuck a sign reading “Kick Me” on his adversary’s back. Upon realizing what had happened, Robin grabbed the piece of paper, crumpled it up and threw it away.

Your honor and the jury, I leave you with this.

After reviewing the proof we have, do we really want another season filled with this monster terrorizing the mascots that provide enjoyment for us? This isn’t a joke anymore. This isn’t a prank. This is full on barrage of tomfoolery and brutality towards these creatures. This man cannot simply walk free. Although he has moved from Portland to New York, he is not going to change his ways. Rather, I imagine this is just another step in his plot.

Let’s end the violence against mascots.