Fansided

My boss makes me watch First Take so you don’t have to (aka Talkin’ ’bout Romo)

By Jonathan Bass

Feb 23, 2013; Fort Collins, CO, USA; Colorado State Rams fans hold large cut outs of ESPN television personality Stephen A. Smith (left) and Skip Bayless (right) during the game against the New Mexico Lobos at Moby Arena. The Lobos defeated the Rams 91-82. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 23, 2013; Fort Collins, CO, USA; Colorado State Rams fans hold large cut outs of ESPN television personality Stephen A. Smith (left) and Skip Bayless (right) during the game against the New Mexico Lobos at Moby Arena. The Lobos defeated the Rams 91-82. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports /
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Here are the highlights from Monday’s episode of First Take.

Over the weekend Stephen A. Smith decided to go full SAS on the world after Jay Cutler was injured during Sunday’s game. Smith sent a trolling tweet knowing that content-starved sports blogs would pick it up and run with it (Branding 101). We took the bait.

After our site’s analytics exploded through the roof, our boss here in the Chicago FanSided office had a great idea: We should watch First Take every morning, because Smith and Skip Bayless toss out at least one dumbf–k comment a day. Readers eat it up, we post aaaaaaaaaand it’s pageviews galore. Straight clicks, homie.

So, with me already taking the early shift each day (6 a.m.-2 p.m. local time) that meant the esteemed honor of watching Statler and Waldorf scream at each other during fell on my shoulders. Not only am I lodged firmly in the foxhole, taking one for the team by waking up before the rooster crows, I’m now doing it while juggling an unpinned grenade of conflated hot takes and arrogance.

And that’s how I arrived at the column’s name. It’s pretty simple, really. My boss makes me watch First Take so you don’t have to. Get the goods and GTFO. Let me scrape the dregs. Save yourselves. Just remember me when you’re having intelligent conversation around the water cooler.

In case you missed Monday’s NFL Week 2 fallout edition, it was all Tony Romo all the time. Skipper and SAS realized that they’ll be No Romo for a while, so the show was essentially one monster Romorgasm. Buckle up and maybe put on a poncho.

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