After 80 hours of combined work from Saturday-Monday, FanSided’s editors Meltdown on Tuesday.
As always, this conversation is from an actual Slack chat between NFL Editor Matt Verderame and Managing Editor Jonathan Bass.
Verderame: MELTDOWN TUESDAY
Verderame: Bass, Alabama and Auburn both lost this week in SEC play. It was brutal football.
Bass: My God. I thought Tammy was going to kill herself on Finebaum’s show yesterday. And Phyllis didn’t even call in … might want to send the authorities.
Verderame: Alabama is a rancid state. At this point, it is safe to say that it has the worst football in the country of any state. Hell, the best team is Jacksonville State
Bass: Hell, you’re being kind. I was gonna say UAB.
Bass: You know things are bad when the state of Mississippi is thumping its chest at you.
Verderame: At this point, it is tough to tell what is worse in Alabama. The education or the football. Is there any way that Alabama would be willing to secede?
Bass: Don’t threaten them with a good time. Tie a c-note around a half-empty bottle of Ten High Whiskey and they’re out the door.
Bass: I know it’s a little early for our weekly MFK segment, but Malzahn, Muschamp, Saban – who you got?
Verderame: For me, it’s about marrying Saban. He’s probably a terrible person judging from the fact he hasn’t smiled since 1985, but he’s stable. You always know that you are going to be living the high life, driving fancy cars, and being courted by every football team in the land.
Bass: Ditto. He’s real tiny, and I just want to put him in my pocket. Plus, he has a fun side. His house on Lake Burton is BAMF, and he’ll cut loose and air guitar to the Eagles down by the water. Ever seen the pics of him going suns-out, guns-out with the team? He owns Sea-Doo’s, for God’s sake. How fun is that?! I could totally grow old eating oatmeal cream pies and cruising the lake with Saban.
Verderame: That’s all fair. As for the killing, it has to be Muschamp. The man is a monster. I would be in fear for my life every time Auburn’s defense gives up 300 rushing yards. And frankly, after watching the Tigers against LSU last week, that is going to be a weekly happening.
Verderame: I’m sure the fan base down in Florida would agree with me…
Bass: It’s Muschamp. The man killed my alma mater in mind, body and soul. We’re playing for keeps with this one. BOOM!
Verderame: Well, that means we are both climbing into bed with Malzahn. I like Gus, he seems like the kind of guy who would take you out for dinner, have a good conversation about vintage wines, and then go for a stroll in the park.
Bass: All I’m saying is this: every time he wins, he eats a steak dinner at Waffle House. Not gonna happen much this year, but catch him on a good night and it’s a steak and a lay for the win. They don’t call him the Gus Bus for nothing.
Bass: Moving on.
Next: The Colts