Fansided

The Hartford Yard Goats’ mascots will induce nightmares (Photo)

By Charles Rahrig V

Oct 16, 2015; Kansas City, MO, USA; A general view of a glove and baseball during batting practice prior to game one of the ALCS between the Kansas City Royals and the Toronto Blue Jays at Kauffman Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 16, 2015; Kansas City, MO, USA; A general view of a glove and baseball during batting practice prior to game one of the ALCS between the Kansas City Royals and the Toronto Blue Jays at Kauffman Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports /
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The Hartford Yard Goats unveiled their new mascots and they look like something out of a nightmare from hell.

We’re you planning on sleeping on this fine Friday?

No? Okay, good.

Well let’s tell a terrifying tale about a minor league baseball team trying to drum up interest in their product by creating a pair of mascots that came from the deepest, most terrifying region of parts unknown.

In the haunted world of minor league marketing, a team in the spooky northeastern territory known as Hartford needed something that would truly create a scare in their stadium. So what horrifying concoction did the Yard Goats’ marketing staff put together?

Why a couple of goats from hell with no remorse for human life, obviously.

Meet Chompers and Chew Chew. These two sadistic savages will now spend eternity hiding under your bed, staring at you from behind a mirror, cause you to aimlessly trip over nothing and make bad decisions as you try to run away from them.

It’s time to board up the house and hide the women and children if you live in the Hartford area. Things are no longer safe and these two killer goats are coming to unleash a furious vengeance upon all those poor souls, unfortunate enough to go near them.

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