Meltdown Tuesday: FanSided After Dark edition
Verderame: RISE UPPPPPPPP
Bass: I know we’re going to talk about it for a bit, but for those not inclined to the reading ways, here’s a visual of the Falcons’ season.
Bass: The wheels have just come right off down in The A.
Verderame: It’s like Matt Ryan and the defense have money on the other team. Some of his throws are Blaine Gabbert-esque.
Bass: Matty Luke Warm! He’s been a catalyst for destruction, that’s for sure. Can you believe the argument we had about them earlier this week?!
Verderame: To catch people up, our boss, Patrick Allen, thinks Matt Ryan is good. Unfortunately, Allen is certifiable. The man is calling for the upset this Sunday. It’s not happening.
Bass: Allen says he stopped drinking, but I’m pretty sure he had a nip in the coffee cup when stroking Matty Luke Warm. Hell, Im surprised Quinn hasn’t benched the bum. Play for the draft picks at this point.
Verderame: At what point do the Falcons fans start wondering if Ryan is another decent quarterback who is never going to win anything?
Bass: Whenever the last dollar of that $103.75M contract comes off the books.
Verderame: That’s brutal. Nice job by Thomas Dimitroff. That team is a mess. Remind me, when is the last time the Falcons won a Super Bowl?
Bass: Pretty sure they claim John Elway’s second. I haven’t lived down South for a few months now, but the sting of disappointment still resonates. You know it’s bad when people are saying, “At least we have the Hawks.”
Verderame: Enjoy Kevin Willis and fat Vin Baker, fellas.
Bass: My goodness. At least we’ll always have Outkast …
Verderame: The Falcons should blow that whole team up and just start fresh, it’s a disgrace.
Bass: Just bury them in the hole in the ground for the new stadium, Jimmy Hoffa style.
Verderame: Speaking of burying teams in New Jersey, did 53 holes for the Giants
Bass: F–k it, make it 54 and send Coughlin down with his troops.
Verderame: That team has lost multiple games this season because Coughlin and that staff has no idea what is going on. It’s insane. Fire everyone.
Bass: It’s almost unfair that Eli is the Manning paired alongside Coughlin. Can you imagine Tom and Peyton standing on the sidelines in the December weather? That’s what HD TVs were made for.
Verderame: That softy would just retire, and I’m not talking about Coughlin. He was in a damn heated booth watching the Broncos play the Patriots the other night. Embarrassing!
Bass: Which freezes up more once the weather turns: Coughlin’s brain or Manning’s arm?
Verderame: Manning’s arm is dead. We think Coughlin still has a brain, so I have to go with old Tom. The guy has enjoyed a great career, by my God, just go home.
Bass: For real. It’s been a sad, sad season for the Giants. The division is an outhouse for Christ sake. When you can’t even climb out of the s–t pile to reach .500 then I’m sorry, but that negates one of your Super Bowl titles.
Verderame: They should have to walk out to the 50-yard line and apologize for what they have done
Bass: Or chug the bleach. We’ll get the hint.
Bass: Moving on!
Bass: You see that Clemson is on the cover of the new Sports Illustrated?
Verderame: Yeah, those boys are screwed.
Bass: Yup. If there wasn’t already a strong whiff of Clemsoning in the air, it’s now official.
[Editor’s note: Bass and Verderame spent the next 15 minutes of this conversation debating how legitimate the SI curse is, and the myriad of ways Clemson is going to fold. However, this being a Time Inc. owned company, any extended dialogue on the jinx is severely frowned upon. The HR bot came out, rapped their knuckles, cut the final segment of Meltdown Tuesday and relegated it to the 11:00 p.m. time slot.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]