Knicked Up: Taking on water … no land in sight

I have a confession to make. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to type. It is one of those moments that you realize just where you stand in the course of life.

I root for the New York Knicks. It’s a terrifying reality, but I feel so much better telling the world that I have been supporting this franchise since the 1993-94 campaign, back when I was five years old. Why didn’t anybody scream out to turn away and point me toward the Chicago Bulls or Los Angeles Lakers? Nope, it was the Knicks for this New Yorker.

After the contending years with Patrick Ewing, Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason and John Starks, this train went off the tracks. And it was not one of those derailments where the crew comes out and fixes the lead car, sending the train back on its journey. No, it was a gas leak combined with somebody lighting a barbeque in the commuter car. This massive explosion was followed by the entire train screaming down a mountain, picking up precious speed with every split second, while hurdling toward a school of blind kids. Finally, the fireball of a train slammed into the school, grotesquely murdering anybody in its wake.

All that was left was to identify the bodies and tell the parents, “We did the best we could.” At this juncture, the only thing left of Knicks fans are dental records.

After 25 games of the 2015-16 season, the Knicks are 11-14 and sitting third in the NBA’s Atlantic Division, which is not exactly the pillar of professional basketball. The Toronto Raptors are good, the Boston Celtics are decent, and the Brooklyn Nets and Philadelphia 76ers should be contracted.

The only saving grace to this disaster is that Kristaps Porzingis is probably going to be the Rookie of the Year, and at very worst the second-best rookie behind Karl-Anthony Towns. Porzingis is going to be a star in the NBA, giving New York fans some hope that their children will see better days that don’t involve a flaming train barreling down on the less fortunate.

The contract of Carmelo Anthony looks decent enough now, but it could be an albatross in the coming years when his body breaks down (or, you know, if that SOB decides to sit on the couch with a knee injury until the All-Star Game, when he miraculously recovers just enough to play in one game before being out for the season).

Take heart fellow sufferers, the Knicks are starting to get better. Seriously, it is happening. Maybe.

Just wince and hope for the best.