Meltdown Tuesday: Cincinnati is the new Cleveland
Per usual, two of FanSided’s editors, Matt Verderame and Jonathan Bass, melt down over the week’s most ridiculous sports topics.
Verderame: MELTDOWN TUESDAY. Alright, the Cincinnati Bengals are the world’s most horrifying reality show.
Bass: Not even a Bengals fan and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces of what in the hell happened. You say Marvin Lewis should’ve been fired before he even made it to the locker room, right?
Verderame: They should have sent him into the Steelers locker room holding a pink slip. How could you possibly have that little control? He has been coaching there for 13 years and the players think he’s a joke.
Bass: It’s like after the hit on Brown that everyone huddled together and said f–k it, we’re gonna lose this game. How was there no coach corralling the team and moving them over to the sidelines?!
Verderame: He’s the most overrated coach in the last 20 years. Everybody talks about how he gets the team to the playoffs. So what? He loses every time he gets there in the Wild Card round and he looks like he’s in a coma. Come on now, stop being a clown show and fire Lewis.
Bass: Let’s go back and diagram this Chernobyl-sized meltdown. It starts with the 2-point conversion following that ridiculous touchdown from A.J. Green, right?
Verderame: Oh yeah. Lewis and his minions are too short-sighted to have him on the field and through a lateral. Then we have the Vontaze Burfict interception, which he ran about 100 yards into the tunnel with.
Bass: I thought he had given the team a safety. Legit thought he screwed them right there, and that they were going to lose in heartbreaking fashion because of his idiocy. I was only half-right.
Verderame: Then, that crap bag of a team fumbles on the next play, allows a noodle-armed Ben Roethlisberger to convert on fourth down and then, of course, the 30-yard meltdown sponsored by Adam Jones and Burfict.
Bass: Can we talk about the fourth down conversion for a second.
Verderame: Oh yeah, be my guest.
Bass: So Cincinnati calls a timeout following Pittsburgh’s timeout. They have a defensive-minded coach scheming to fell a one-armed quarterback who can’t throw farther than 10 yards … and they fail. MISERABLY. How does that happen?!
Verderame: Honestly, it is time for Lewis to move on or maybe even reshape the roster. Good teams don’t lose like that. The Bengals are a disgrace to Cincinnati – the most forgettable city in America.
Bass: So you know, the subheadline for today’s Meltdown Tuesday is “Cincinnati is the new Cleveland.”
Bass: And I wanna go to Cincinnati to eat some Skyline Chili and then buck. Then again, I don’t really want it that badly …
Verderame: The only way I’m going to Cincinnati is if my plane is forced to land there on the way back to NY. That place is a hole.
Next: More Meltdown