Super Bowl 50 drinking game for Broncos vs Panthers
Stretch your liver, because it’s time for the Super Bowl 50 drinking game.
We editors here at FanSided have a whole rotation of Super Bowl 50 posts to get through before all the pandemonium of Sunday begins. To get through I’ve put on some Grateful Dead shows from the Internet archive tried to ride out (Dead jams are a perfect muse for a Super Bowl in SF). However, since I’ve been called upon to make this year’s official drinking game (not sure what that says about me), I needed something a little more boozy – a change of poisons, if you will. Some 90s-00s punk rock should do the trick. Let’s get to it.
Mood
Guttermouth – Chug-A-Lug Night
Reel Big Fish – Beer
Lagwagon – Beer Goggles
Buck-O-Nine – Irish Drinking Song
Pregame
It’s the Super Bowl. If you aren’t eating something that’s padding for your gut, then you’re just not Super Bowling the right way. Wings, seven-layer dip, pizza, that BAMF Frank’s blue cheese and chicken dip that you only have this time of year – whatever the case, I’m sure your food of choice will be good enough to prevent immediate belligerence.
Libation
You can go one of two ways here. If you’re a snob or hardo (copyright: BSS), then it’s some kind of Cali beer for you. Northern California and up into Oregon and Washington have some of the best hops you’ll find in the country. You can probably find some Anchor beer easily enough. If you’re a complete monster, go with a Russian River Pliny (if you’re gon’ do it big, do it big den). I’d recommend 21st Amendment’s Down to Earth session ale – tasty and easy enough to crush.
If you’re like me, then it’s cheap beer central. Go with something American feeling (“feeling” meaning: forget that InBev has basically bought up the entire watered-down American beer market). Bud Heavy or Bud Light will do the trick, as both will have commercials during the game – the former with something that’ll give you feels, the latter with something that’ll hit the lowest common denominator in humor. I’m probably gonna go with PBR, because it’s delicious, cheap and offers that Red, White and Blue Americana feel.
Game
1 Drink
- Phil Simms says “Talk about”
- CBS puts up an on-screen ad for one of its shows (live reads by Jim Nantz also count here)
- The word “Omaha” is either picked up by a mic, or the announcers discuss it
5 Drinks
- Ron Rivera is referred to as “Riverboat Ron”
- Any Peyton Manning retirement talk
- Anytime cameras pick up Cam Newton Smiling
10 Drinks
- Every touchdown
- Every turnover
- Little kids get a football
Waterfall
- Every kickoff (from kick until tackle)
Take a shot
- Cam dabs
- Peyton runs for a first down
Halftime Special
- Power Hour rules: drink every time there is a song transition during the medley
Ol’ Ironclad Challenge (Optional)
- One if by land, two if by air
- Take one drink for every run play, take two drinks for every pass play (can pick a team and just do when they’re on offense, or go full-bore throughout the whole game)
Physical Challenge (Optional)
- Uncle Rico’s Peyton Manning noodle arm, duck throw combat
- During halftime, all participants shotgun a beer (since they’re missing the mini-pour hour) and go outside. It’s a simple throwing contest to see who can throw the ball a quarter mile over them mountains. Losers shotgun another beer and go streaking around the house/apartment/viewing establishment before halftime ends.
Monday Morning Hangover Club
Fuel
- Biscuits and gravy if the Panthers win; Western omelet if the Broncos win
- Pint of orange juice (not from concentrate)
- Gallon of Gatorade (to be consumed throughout the day)
Work Excuse
- “Super Bowl Monday deserves to be a holiday more than Presidents or Columbus Day. I was at a Super Bowl party last night, and if you think I look bad, you should see the poor S.O.B. who lost the physical challenge. Every day is the Super Bowl; I’ll be better tomorrow.”
Day-After Soundtrack
Have fun out there, folks, and remember to call a cab or Uber or walk home after playing the game (and stay hydrated throughout).