Minnesota hockey hair will always be better than your hair (Video)

Here’s your yearly reminder that the best hair and hockey comes from Minnesota. 

Minnesota is the greatest state in America, and this is the time of the year where we politely — in a Minnesota nice way — rub your face in it. Every March, the Minnesota State High School Hockey Tournament puts on display the best hockey teams in the state, usually featuring a handful of future NHL stars.

It’s also the time of year where Minnesotans kindly tap you on the shoulder to point out that the best hair in the world comes from the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Seriously, you don’t even have to be from Minnesota to get assimilated into the mass of majestic manes that casually pop up at random.

Jared Allen looked like a semi-normal human being while with the Chiefs. Then he comes to Minnesota and we turned that guy into a mullet sporting, beer chugging, Elk hunting sack maniac. Minnesota changes you in all the ways you never knew you wanted to change.

Hockey hair is a natural resource in Minnesota like Walleye or timber — and the State Tournament is never a disappointment. This year’s compilation of the best hockey hair in the tournament was released, and it’s just the best goddamn thing you’ll see this year of for nothing other than the narration.

We have different tiers of hockey hair in Minnesota. On one tier you have your traditional hockey hair that is just magically genetic to everyone born in the state.

I mean, c’mon. Those guys are lady killers and they know it.

Beyond this, you have your more extreme tiers of hockey hair. These tiers are populated by the guys who know they have genetically majestic hockey hair but sacrifice it in the name of tradition.

People in Minnesota look like this ironically. In Wisconsin, that’s someone on a good day.

We also have this kid — the only kid in the Minnesota State High School Tournament who actually looks like he’s in high school.

And the there’s the guys who go beyond the hair and start involving facial hair in this.

We’re also a very accepting and diverse people in Minnesota. Just look at this line from where we go — in succession — beard, mullet, ginger and then afro.

You don’t find a party on skates like that anywhere else in the world. That’s the kind of quirk that the Coen brothers win Oscars for because it runs in their blood.

Basically, if you’ve never watched the Minnesota State High School Tournament, you haven’t lived. There can only be one winner per class in the tournament, but every single one of these kids deserve a medal. They’re from Minnesota, though, which is good enough.