NCAA Tournament 2016: Picking the field by mascots

Midwest Region – First Round

No. 16 Hampton Pirates over No. 1 Virginia Cavaliers
A Pirate and a Cavalier are virtually the same, but a Pirate would seemingly be more willing to fight dirty to get the win. That makes it all four No. 16 seeds going through.

No. 8 Texas Tech Red Raiders over No. 9 Butler Bulldogs
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not huge on the fighting prospects of a Bulldog, which holds true against a Red Raider armed with weapons.

No. 12 Arkansas Little-Rock Warhawks over No. 5 Purdue Boilermakers
Even if there’s a huge size disadvantage, it just feels impossible to take something called a Warhawk over a person making beer.

No. 13 Iona Gaels over No. 4 Iowa State Cyclones
Once again, a weather-based mascot can’t actually fight, so the Gaels somehow advance despite not having too many advantages in many matchups.

No. 6 Seton Hall Pirates over No. 11 Gonzaga Bulldogs
Again we come back to the Bulldog, this time against a Pirate with swords and guns (and a boat). Guess how this plays out for the Bulldog?

No. 3 Utah Utes over No. 14 Fresno State Bulldogs
Poor, poor Bulldogs just can’t catch a break as Fresno State comes up against a member of an American Indian tribe in a Ute. Again, it’s not hard to pick Utah to move ahead.

No. 7 Dayton Flyers over No. 10 Syracuse Orange
Honestly, I considered eliminating both teams because both mascots seem that useless in a fight. However, at least a Flyer can, well, fly—so that gives Dayton the nod.

No. 2 Michigan State Spartans over No. 15 Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders
A tough matchup between two types of fighters here, but I have to go with the training of the Spartan against the more instinctive and unchecked fighting of a Blue Raider.

Next: Second Round, South and West Regions