WWE NXT Review, March 16, 2016: Thumbs up, thumbs down

Your very official review for the March 16, 2016 edition of NXT

Previously on NXT…

The women’s division is at something of a stand-still at the moment with Bayley engaging in something of a peripheral feud with the All-Red Robot, Eva, and her heavy Nia Jax. Like almost everything else NXT is doing, it will pay off when they decide to get to it.

Speaking of getting to it, Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe had their two-out-of-three-falls match last week and it was as good as you’d expect. Joe got the win, keeping him strong, while Sami got to look valiant even in defeat. Meanwhile, everyone on the main roster gets 50/50 booked and no one looks strong.

Baron Corbin continues to really hate all these indie signings, you guys. He already went apesh** on Austin Aries, so I’m sure he’ll tear what’s left of his hair out when he sees the newest signing.

And lastly, the NXT tag team division is in the same holding pattern as the women’s division. They clearly have something in mind, they’re just waiting for the right time to get to it. That time happens to be on this edition, as you’ll see what I mean.

Now let’s get to it: your very official review for the March 16, 2016 edition of NXT.

Thumbs Way the Hell Up: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we start the show with Zayn cutting a promo about his disappointment, but reassuring us that his goals have not changed: he still intends to become the first two-time NXT champion. Before he can get very far into his promo, general manager William Regal comes out to interrupt.

What’s he here for? Oh nothing, just to let Zayn know that he deserves a special match at Takeover:Dallas and hands it off to the video screen to give us the reveal. It’s none other than freakin’ Shinsuke Nakamura, the King of Strong Style himself.

I don’t need to tell you how awesome Nakamura is — I couldn’t use anything other than exclamation points for this title, if that tells you anything — and I can’t elaborate just how stacked this Takeover card is going to be.

Also, I love, love, LOVE that the authority figure here doesn’t care about being cool or awesome or cutting 20-minute promos every week. He’s here to make the matches, have them make some semblance of sense and go back to his office. Love GM Regal.

Thumbs Down: I Ain’t Hype

So how do we follow that? With a Hype Bros squash, naturally. They easily go over Angelo Dawkins & Kenneth Crawford with the Hype Ryder because of course. I appreciate that they’re trying to do something –anything– with these two but it just isn’t my cup of tea.

One thing I’ve noticed in regards to NXT and myself is that I’ve become spoiled. I’m used to getting awesome things like Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Sami Zayn, a debuting mega indie star almost every week, etc, etc that I sour hard on the things that aren’t obviously awesome.

The Hype Bros aren’t terrible when you consider the main roster has like the New Day and whatever team they remember exists that month. But that’s the NXT effect; there is just too much cool stuff happening to trot something like this out there.

Thumbs Up: Corey Graves

Speaking of this match, the best part of it hands down is the utter disdain Graves has for both Mojo and Ryder. As he should, might I add. It’s hilarious that Graves has basically become the bitter, jaded voice for fans on the internet. He says mostly correct or somewhat correct things, but the fact that he’s kind of being a dick about it is what’s supposed to make him heel. It’s great execution, unlike JBL who thinks yelling loudly about everything is what makes him a heel when really he just comes off like an unlikable ass.

Thumbs Eh: Let’s Lump the Squashes Together

This is a show that accomplished a ton without really doing much, if you get what I’m saying. You’ll see when I cover the other three developments. Still, there were a couple of squashes that I probably should mention even if they don’t really merit a mention.

Tommaso Ciampa takes a few minutes to work over Jesse Soreneson before slapping on his armbar for the win. I’m a Ciampa fan, so this isn’t the worst thing in the world making someone like Ciampa, who is still developing in NXT, look strong.

That’s followed by Emma and Dana continuing to cut the best worst promos in NXT. Also, I will never get tired of Emma’s accent turning “Asuka” into “Oscar”. It’s just the best thing in the world. The duo head pats Deonna Purrazzo before heading to the ring to squash her. The match is what it is, but I am a fan of Dana’s cheerleading act that involves her yelling/over-enunciating everything that comes out of her mouth coupled with terrible midwestern trash talk.

Thumbs Up: This is a #DivasRevolution

Last time we saw them, the women of consequence were involved in a tag match in some way, shape or form: Baymella teamed up against Eva and Nia with Asuka making the save at the end. This week, we get the same match, except sub in Asuka for Carmella.

The match itself is fine — Baysuka gets the win because of course they do — but the real point of it all comes post-match. Bill Regal is back again because he doesn’t waste time or set up matches with no consequence or reason: at Takeover:Dallas, Bayley will defend her title…against Asuka. Bayley can’t help but look nervous, but it’s totally understandable to everyone watching.

It’s the match we’ve been waiting for and we finally get it. The best part about it? No idea who will win. Bayley is so hot and over, she could reasonably retain. But Asuka straight kick-murders people, so she could win. That’s the best part about wrestling when it really works: unpredictability.

Thumbs Up: Baron Corbin vs the (indie) World

We get a quick backstage vignette from recent free agent acquisition Austin Aries, who got the memo from Corbin that the latter isn’t terribly happy with all of these indie wrestling signees.

Aries gets to the point, but in his own way: he doesn’t want Regal to punish Corbin because it’ll be punishment enough for the big, balding former NFL player to step into the ring with Aries. The promo gave Aries a quick chance to make his challenge but to show his personality and it worked wonders.

And much like the aforementioned Bayley/Asuka match, I legitimately don’t know who will win. Corbin is strong enough of a performer that he could walk into Takeover and score the win. Then again, Aries is another debut with a lot of pomp and circumstance, so he probably should win.

Man, I love NXT.

Thumbs Up: Your Main Event

The main event of the episode is American Alpha, Chad Gable and Jason Jordan, taking on the Vaudevillains with the winner earning the right to face the tag team champions, the Revival, at Takeover: Dallas.

The match itself is your standard American Alpha match: good back and forth action, the hottest of hot tags, and Grand Amplitude for the win. It also featured Gable pulling out a Chaos Theory rolling German suplex that damn near killed Aiden English:

This is absolutely the right time for American Alpha to move to the forefront of the tag team division. There isn’t a team hotter in NXT right now, not to mention that Enzo and Cass are basically over on Smackdown now. It’s their time.

I expect a classic early ’90s tag team match between American Alpha and the Revival as both hit hard and seem to adhere to some old school tag team wrestling. I just hope that once Takeover has come and gone, they can make the right decisions to keep American Alpha going in the right direction.

So to kind of recap, this is what was set up for Takeover:Dallas on this show: Asuka challenging Bayley for the NXT Women’s title, American Alpha challenging the Revival for the NXT Tag titles, Austin Aries against Baron Corbin, and Sami Zayn facing off against Shinsuke Nakamura. Holy crap, can it be April 1st yet?

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