Meltdown Tuesday: Stupid hats at the Derby


Sometimes, the Kentucky Derby needs to be cut down to size.

Everybody is excited for the 142nd Kentucky Derby on Saturday. Why? Who the hell knows. But it gives us all a reason to throw down some hard-earned money on a bunch of horses who don’t understand why they are being whipped.

Yet, that’s not the worst part. The worst part is those women who wear ridiculously large hats, standing next to men who are dressed straight out of a 1920s silent film. Stop pretending you are classy. You are in Kentucky. There is a good chance that out of the 100,000 people at Churchill Downs, there are eight last names.

After the Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports are over, we are back to the reality of the moment. You look like an idiot, and you are standing in one of the worst states America has to offer. If you listen close enough, South Dakota is laughing at you.

Ultimately, people who g to the race should dress like people who care about their appearance, without making it a damn statement. For once, don’t be that person. Be normal, or something like it.

Anything to stop you from wearing that circus on your damn head.