2016 NBA Draft Style Guide: Do’s and don’ts

Don’t wear a bow tie.

Just don’t. I get the appeal of setting yourself apart with an alternative neck tie, but every year a third of the rookies wear bow ties and the whole broadcast starts to look like an NBC acapella singing competition. Bowties are just too difficult a knot to get right, and often look like K-mart clip-ons. Even worse, when donned by half the rookie class — an assortment of nineteen-year-olds with freakish athletic abilities and seven-foot wingspans — they look like they are posing for class photos for Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

The problem with the bow tie is it hangs on the neck like the propeller of a miniature airplane but leaves the breast of the shirt below it open and unbalanced. Plus, it’s the shared uniform of both magicians and clowns. This isn’t a birthday party, it’s a professional debut.

Here’s a list of people that wear bowties off the top of my head: Pee-Wee Herman, Boo-Boo Bear, Chuck Bass, Huckleberry Hound,  Waylon Smithers, Bill Nye, Snagglepuss, Harry Crane, Orville Redenbacher. Over half the names I just listed are Hanna-Barbara Cartoons, and the rest would look just as ridiculous on a basketball court. Inversely, basketball stars just look silly in bow ties. Don’t be Harry Crane. Don’t wear bow ties. If you truly want to stand out for your neck tie, consider the ascot or not wearing a neck tie at all.

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