You try telling NBA Champion J.R. Smith that he has to put on a shirt.
After winning the NBA finals, LeBron James cried, Kevin Love showed more joy than having all the dimes in the world, Tyronn Lue cried and Kyrie Irving–wait, what did Kyrie do? I don’t know. But also J.R. Smith decided to take his shirt off. We all have ways we deal with emotions. J.R. Smith deals by taking his shirt off.
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(And, really, what’s the point of a shirt anyway? It’s a human-made construct that hides who we truly are. If we know anything about J.R. Smith, it’s that he stays true to who he is.)
For a full timeline of J.R. Smith’s shirtless adventures, you can go here, but I’ll give you the elevator pitch. Cavs win, Cavs go to Vegas to party, Pipe leaves shirt in Vegas club, Pipe gets off plane in Cleveland still without a shirt. Pipe hasn’t been seen with his shirt on since.
J.R. Smith, ladies and gentlemen. pic.twitter.com/VILj1X5e35
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) June 20, 2016
And so it begs the question–and this is a real possibility–what if J.R. Smith never puts on a shirt again? Like ever again? I know that the NBA has a uniform code or something about wearing shirts with the shorts, but can they really hold J.R. Smith–NBA Champion J.R. Smith–accountable? I’d like to see them try.
Or even better: What if the Cavs uniforms are just shorts? Sure, they would have to trade Kevin Love, because no one wants to see that, but otherwise what’s the downside? We all know who these guys are. Are you really going to mistake LeBron with Delly just because you can’t see no. 23 and whatever Delly’s number is? Of course not. And wouldn’t you rather see J.R. Smith shoot three’s without a shirt on and do this without a shirt on. Of course you would!
So, Adam Silver, I’m talking directly to you: Do not make J.R. Smith put a shirt on. The NBA is an entertainment industry. Sports are on TV to sell beer. You know what would be really entertaining and sell tons of beer? J.R. Smith without a shirt. Certainly more so than J.R. Smith with a shirt, and that dude won a championship.