The 2016 Buyer’s Remorse NBA Draft
Each and every year bloggers across the land commence — virtually of course — to scrutinize, prod, and pick apart past NBA drafts. Honestly, it’s a fun practice. Information is at our disposal making it relatively easy to retrace NBA history and play the “what if” game with the draft.
| Standard practice is waiting at least one year to poke fun at NBA general managers for their missteps, but Upside & Motor decided to conduct an immediate re-draft of the draft that took place less than a week ago in Brooklyn. |
There are some ground rules for this Buyer’s Remorse Draft:
And with that, the Philadelphia 76ers are back on the clock…. 1.Philadelphia 76ers |
5. Minnesota Timberwolves
Actual: Kris Dunn
Remorse: Buddy Hield
The Wolves are those teenagers who come to the park and play with adults, and even though they lose, the adults walk away thinking, “dammit it won’t be long before those kids are killing us…”. Karl Anthony-Towns, Zach LaVine and Andrew Wiggins are the future and adding Dunn complicates things, so instead the Wolves take Buddy Hield. Buddy gets buckets and shot an astronomical percentage from the floor last year.
6. New Orleans Pelicans
Actual: Buddy Hield
Remorse: Jamal Murray
With Hield gone, the Pelicans pull the trigger on Jamal Murray, who might end up being the better player regardless. Eric Gordon is likely gone and New Orleans needs a playmaker to use in their second unit. Murray certainly fits the bill and with this deadly outside shooting, he creates more spacing for their monster-in-waiting, Anthony Davis.
7. Denver Nuggets
Actual: Jamal Murray
Remorse: Kris Dunn
Kris Dunn might be the best guard in this draft, but the fit didn’t work with the first six teams, so the Nuggets hit the jackpot with No. 7. Yeah, they have Mudiay but Dunn is a polished, two-way star in the making who is simply too good to pass up.
8. Phoenix Suns
Actual: Marquese Chriss
Remorse: Jaylen Brown
Brown “slips” to No. 8 and the Suns snag him to man their perimeter for years to come. Phoenix isn’t contending for an NBA title anytime soon, so acquiring Chriss and Brown would be a hellacious coup for the future of their franchise.
9. Toronto Raptors
Actual: Jakob Poeltl
Remorse: Juan Hernangomez
Here’s the first major surprise! Juan “Juancho” Hernangomez might be one of the stars of this draft and as such the Raptors owe it to themselves to take a Jose Bautista style homerun swing here in the top-10. Toronto was in the ECF this season and while Poeltl may be the safer pick, Hernangomez has a much higher ceiling considering the style of NBA play in our current era.
10. Milwaukee Bucks
Actual: Thon Maker
Remorse: Skal Labissiere
I’m still shocked that the Bucks selected Thon Maker at No. 10. Instead, they take a smaller reach in selecting Skal Labissiere as one of their core big men of the future. Skal has the touch of a stretch four, he can be a great rim protector and he’s got worlds of potential. So does Maker, whatever.
11. Oklahoma City Thunder (via ORL)
Actual: Domantas Sabonis
Remorse: Deyonta Davis
Somehow Deyonta Davis fell to No. 31 despite having lottery-level projections all season long. OKC already has a Sabonis-type player in Mitch McGary, so why duplicate that when Davis is sitting their waiting to be plucked from the green room. C’mon Presti.
12. Atlanta Hawks (via UTA)
Actual: Taurean Prince
Remorse: Denzel Valentine
Yes, there are concerns over the health and sustainability of Valentine’s knee, however he was downright unreal at Michigan State and I would rather have five quality years of Valentine, than five substandard years of Prince. Sue me.
13. Sacramento Kings (via PHX)
Actual: Georgios Papagiannis
Remorse: Jakob Poeltl
I let out an audible “WUT!” when the Kings selected Papagiannis, so instead the Kings and Vlade Divac came to their senses and selected Jakob Poeltl to pair with their own Boogieman.
14. Chicago Bulls
Actual: Denzel Valentine
Remorse: Wade Baldwin IV
The day before the draft the Bulls traded long-time point guard Derrick Rose to the Knicks and then subsequently didn’t pick a point guard to replace him. Baldwin is the quintessential selection for Chicago to make here and in this alternate reality, they do. Hmph.
15. Denver Nuggets
Actual: Juan Hernangomez
Remorse: Domantas Sabonis
The Nuggets have a stable full of bigs with Nikola Jokic, Jusuf Nurkic and Kenneth Faried, but best player available is a real thing and as such Sabonis is the pick. Sabonis next to Jokic for years to come is what I envision when I think of European dominance.
16. Boston Celtics
Actual: Guerschon Yabusele
Remorse: Patrick McCaw
McCaw somehow, some way slipped to No. 38 , but as possibly the best “3 and D” player in this draft, the Celtics should have picked him here. Ainge struck out on making deals with his 1st round picks, so instead of taking a draft-and-stash guy like Yabusele they acquire a real asset who can play right now. GO BACK AND CHANGE THIS AINGE!
17. Memphis Grizzlies
Actual: Wade Baldwin IV
Remorse: Timothe Luwawu
Timothe Luwawu is one of my favorite prospects in this draft. His name is stupendous, he wore electric pink and lime green jerseys for Mega Leks and he’s got swag for days. The Grizzlies need to make a pitch to keep Mike Conley around in free agency and what better way than to select someone with more self-confidence than even Tony Allen has?!
18. Detroit Pistons
Actual: Henry Ellenson
Remorse: Furkan Korkmaz
Korkmaz is one of the true elite shooters in this draft, so the Pistons swooping in at No. 18 and taking him would have been ideal. Detroit shipped out one of their best shooters Wednesday, so the 6-7 Korkmaz could have snuck in and challenged for rotational minutes ASAP.
19. Denver Nuggets
Actual: Malik Beasley
Remorse: Taurean Prince
Taurean Prince is the new age Wilson Chandler, so selecting him when Chandler is still on your roster will forever be the move to make. Prince is billed as a potential “3 and D” stud and with all the injuries to Gallinari and Chandler over the years, he could have been valuable to have.
20. Brooklyn Nets (via IND)
Actual: Caris LeVert
Remorse: Henry Ellenson
Ellenson was once thought of as a definite top-5 pick in the 2016 Draft. Life comes at you fast and now he’s at pick No. 20 — which is about right for him. He’s only 19-years old and a beast on the glass. The Nets shipped out Thad Young for this pick, so selecting the prototype for what Young should have been (a stretch four) is about right.
21. Atlanta Hawks
Actual: DeAndre Bembry
Remorse: Malik Beasley
Beasley is another one-and-done athlete who can shoot the ball extremely well. The Atlanta Hawks said adios to Jeff Teague and could lose Kent Bazemore (never less) so adding Beasley would have been wise.
22. Sacramento Kings (via CHA)
Actual: Malachi Richardson
Remorse: DeAndre Bembry
The Kings made a great trade giving up Marco Bellineli to get the 22nd pick and then proceeded to take the most fluid and risky wing projected to go in the 1st round. Vlade Divac gets on the phone and pranks the Commissioner instead: “Yo. Adam, we take Malachi Rich- naaaaaa I’m jokin’ give us the guy with the amazing fro!” This is how this pick plays out in my head every time.
23. Boston Celtics
Actual: Ante Zizic
Remorse: Ivica Zubac
Have I hammered home how much the Celtics need size yet? If not, this might help as the Celtics should have selected Zubac who stands 7-1, 265 pounds.
24. Philadelphia 76ers
Actual: Timothe Luwawu
Remorse: Dejounte Murray
Philly had an amazing actual draft, so this hurts to have them lose Luwawu (and Korkmaz later), but they need some point guard help and while he’s not the archetype for the lead guard spot, Murray has all the tools and talent to fill that void.
25. Los Angeles Clippers
Actual: Brice Johnson
Remorse: Ante Zizic
Doc Rivers was such a negative Nancy about what they could get at the 25th pick, but Ante Zizic is a quality big man who isn’t even close to a finished product, but can be productive nonetheless. Plus, I just picture him as the next guy Blake punches for no reason.
26. Philadelphia 76ers
Actual: Furkan Korkmaz
Remorse: Thon Maker
Thon Maker went 10th in the actual draft but Philadelphia scooping him up late in the 1st round would have been the Philly pick of all Philly picks. Maker has the skills, intelligence and major highlight videos to boot.
27. Toronto Raptors
Actual: Pascal Siakam
Remorse: Brice Johnson
Brice Johnson has the makeup of a future role player at the power forward position and that’s all you can really hope for this late in the 1st round. He has length, rim protection qualities and his offensive skill set is second-to-none for players left on the board. Although losing out on Siakam rules out adding to their amazing list of last names: Caboclo, Biyombo, Nogueira, etc.
28. Sacramento Kings (via PHX)
Actual: Skal Labissiere
Remorse: Paul Zipser
This is the one Kings pick I actually liked just based off talent, however Skal is off the board now so the Kings — with the guidance of Peja Stojakovic — take a small risk and select Paul Zipser. Zipser is a solid combo guard who at 6-8 can play the shooting guard and/or small forward positions. A wise, gamble would be too much to ask, but hey a guy can dream.
29. San Antonio Spurs
Actual: Dejounte Murray
Remorse: Malcolm Brogdon
Brogdon is the only pick I would accept as the appropriate Spursian pick. Since that didn’t happen I was upset, and I will forever be upset that Brogdon is not a San Antonio Spur.
30. Golden State Warriors
Actual: Damian James
Remorse: Chinanu Onuaku
The Warriors need a mobile big man, so instead of taking Chinanu Onuaku they took Damian James? Wait…why? James is a quality center in a center-laden draft, but Onuaku provides more value to the game plan the Warriors employ. Case closed.