The 21 most nightmare fueling mascots in college athletics

2. Stanford University

Imagine this: you and your significant other are enjoying a nice weekend camping and hiking. All of a sudden, you hear a twig snap. You pull your loved one closer and examine the surroundings. You see nothing. After all, this is the wilderness, it’s all wildlife. You continue to walk when all of a sudden, you hear another twig snap. You and your significant other freeze in your steps. Snap. Crack. Snap. Crack. You peer over your shoulder and there it is, the Stanford University mascot — its thick buck teeth, its rotated kidney bean-looking mouth emitting a blood-curling scream — sprinting at you. It has a purpose. 

All of a sudden, you remember that time you threw a balled-up piece of paper into the trashcan, proclaiming yourself “Kobe.” Should’ve recycled and helped save the trees.

You run and run and run. Thankfully, trees don’t run very fast. You make it out, but those leaves that look like Lilly Pulitzer barfed on them haunt your dreams for months.

After countless sessions of therapy, you think you’re finally over it. That is, until you go to a football game and see that tree has a distant cousin that dances like it’s in a cult.

Here’s to many more sleepless nights, and a newfound fear of the outdoors.

Next: The Providence Friar