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33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

By Matthew Miranda

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski
FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski /
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Jul 30, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins (87) signs autographs after training camp at One Buccaneer Place. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 30, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins (87) signs autographs after training camp at One Buccaneer Place. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports /

10. Austin Seferian-Jenkins

History is written by the winners. That’s why it’s so often depicted as the story of heroes overcoming villains. But really, people are people, and “hero” and “villain” are terms of luxury. When the world is overrun by zombies, luxury is a distant memory. There won’t be a society to label the good guys from the bad. Some of the survivors will be good, and some won’t. Same difference. You don’t necessarily need a hero. You need someone you can trust to be themselves. That could be the self-aware villain. That could be Tampa Bay tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins.

“I’m a villain,” Seferian-Jenkins said. “But hey, villains have fans, too. They might have more fans than the heroes, and I’m OK with that. If someone has to be the villain, I’ll be the villain. I have no problem with it. The movies still say, ‘Starring . . . the villain.’ Someone has to be the villain.” Blind spots are lethal in an apocalypse, whether that means missing a zombie around the corner or missing some deeper personal truth. You need to be self-aware without analysis becoming paralysis. Seferian-Jenkins was recently kicked out of practice after head coach Dirk Koetter said he “didn’t know what he was doing.” Sounds like a man who knows how to know without thinking too much. That’s the balance you want in the end times.

Next: Le'Veon Bell

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