33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

31. Odell Beckham Jr.

After two years of miraculous highlights, having broken dozens of league and team records, New York Giants wideout Odell Beckham Jr. is pretty much what happens when a superhero becomes a professional football player. He was probably bitten by a radioactive spider while attending Isidore Newman Prep in New Orleans. Or maybe he boarded an experimental NASA rocket one night between semesters at LSU and accidentally ended up in outer space, where he was subjected to some weird cosmic rays. But instead of becoming your friendly neighborhood newspaper photographer (since newspapers are going the way of the dodo) or a world-class physicist, Beckham Jr. was drafted by the Giants. So instead of tormenting petty criminals and megalomaniac super villains, he torments defensive backfields.

If Beckham Jr. was in your camp during a zombie apocalypse, you’d have a meta-human watching your back. There would literally be no limit to what he could accomplish against a steady diet of brainless, un-athletic zombies who have no game plan beyond “Brains!” Beckham Jr. will fight off a horde while walking on his hands. He’ll run zig-zags between them so quickly their undead heads will fall off trying to track him. He could carry you with a mere three fingers while holding your entire camp and supplies in his oversized other hand. The zombies would never adjust and play zone. Zombies can’t play zone. Beckham Jr. makes you and your camp the Harlem Globetrotters and the undead the Washington Generals.

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