Tim Tebow And The Business Of Being A Spectacle

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL – SEPTEMBER 20: Tim Tebow

The number of MLB-approved balls sailing over the fence during pre-game batting practice is easily over 50. That’s an estimated, lowball guess at an everyday occurrence that means so little to organizations, players and fans that even Bill James wouldn’t dare quantify it as a stat worth keeping.

According to USA Today, in three “impressive” rounds of instructional league batting practice yesterday, MLB hopeful Tim Tebow hit one home run. It made the news. One round-tripper off a pitch traveling slower than half the octogenarian piloted Lincoln Continentals in all of Florida gets mentioned on Sportscenter.

Such is the life of being a living, breathing sports news sound bite.

Pedro Gomez told the Miami Herald that in all his years of reporting on baseball, this is the first time he’s ever covered an instructional league. It’s no secret the New York Mets crave the media spotlight and will do anything to make a buck, and thus far, the Tebow experiment has been a cash cow.

Over 500 fans attended Tebow’s first day in Mets blue and orange. A special tent was erected just for Tebow merch. He’s the only player in all of minor league baseball with his own jersey. The authentic Mets No. 15 is currently the top seller in the team’s official store (unless Matt Reynolds is suddenly a fan favorite) and a replica Tebow jersey is the second-best seller. The imitation button up will set a Tebow disciple back only $29 instead of a ridiculous $119 price tag for the real deal.

"Tebow presents the rare case of a player not on the active or 40-man rosters who has the marketing appeal to sell jerseys. Teams’ 40-man rosters typically consist of the active roster and disabled list, and top prospects closest to the major leagues. The players’ association will occasionally – albeit rarely – enter into bridge agreements for players expected to make a major league roster.Since Tebow is not a member of the players’ association, the revenue will be split however the Mets, Tebow and Majestic see fit."

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL – SEPTEMBER 20: Jerseys for sale as Tim Tebow

People are spending $119 on a player who’ll never sniff the grass of a real MLB field but NFL fans are being prevented from buying apparel commemorating the life of a dead gorilla. Both of those facts are absolute jokes for different reasons.

“I’m just trying to fulfill a lifelong dream,” Tebow told gathered media on his first day at his new part-time job. His other gig is covering SEC football on weekends. While the words trickling from his million-dollar ivories seem genuine, his short time in Port St. Lucie seem purely business.

Tebow has a minor league contract, a 100K signing bonus, a TV salary and a forthcoming autobiography out in October. He’s a walking billboard for religion, abstinence and now Adidas, with more endorsements approaching by the hour. “I’m sure people will see me out and about,” Tebow told reporters after being spotted shopping around Port Saint Lucie. “Some people saw me in Target last night getting some supplies. LaCroix water. Almonds. Stuff like that.” The LaCroix people probably left Tebow numerous messages.

Even though his output on every professional playing field is soaked red, the business of being Tim Tebow is consistently in the black.

Chris Illuminati is the author of five books. None are available in large font. He runs a men’s lifestyle website and says dumb things on Twitter.