Draymond Green is unnaturally good at kicking people

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 25: Draymond Green
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 25: Draymond Green /

Last night, as the Houston Rockets faced off against the Golden State Warriors, Draymond Green kicked James Harden in the head while attempting to pull off a difficult shot. It was glorious. It was also a strong case for the NBA to instill stronger positions regarding the reckless flailing of limbs, and also for Harden to seriously consider wearing headgear during games.

Based on the footage, it’s impossible to tell whether or not Green kicked Harden on purpose:

After all, basketball is a sport where people bang bodies with one another on a consistent basis. Based on the way the both guys were tangled up during that play, it’s expected that someone would walk away with a bruise or two. However, we also need to keep in mind that this isn’t the first time that Green has been accused of using his feet in a game made for hands.

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If you recall, Green received a fair share of flak during last season’s playoffs for kicking his legs out and hitting other players in the heat of the game. Just ask Steven Adams, his most frequent (and unfortunate) target. He and many others will probably say Green does this kind of stuff on purpose. Most likely they’re right, but again, we can’t really say for sure.

What we can say is that kicking — either accidental or with malice — has strangely become an integral part of Green’s game during these past couple NBA seasons. He utilizes his legs with the strength and accuracy of Jean-Claude Van Damme fighting for his life in the Kumite. That’s not something you just learn. That’s a God-given talent. Talent that should be put to use before it’s too late.

That’s not to say that Green should just up and quit the NBA to pursue something more bi-pedally focused, as that would be foolish. But, when his professional basketball career is all said and done, he seriously should consider getting the most out of his superhuman kicking abilities in some way, shape or form.

Luckily for him, we’ve got a couple of suggestions on how he can do that. He could…

  • Join the Oakland Raiders as a kicker
  • Set the world record for Longest Distance for a Can Kicked During a Game of Kick the Can
  • Film another sequel to Kickboxer
  • Become a Radio City Rockette
  • Become a professional wrestler (Booker T’s signature finishing move was the Scissor Kick. It worked pretty well for him.)
  • Tryout for the U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team (They could definitely use the help.)
  • Kick a bad habit (like kicking people)
  • Kick it old skool
  • Kick back and relax
  • Kick rocks
  • Kick, push, coast

The possibilities are truly endless for Draymond Green, and while his post-NBA future is up in the air, one thing is certain: the man knows how to kick. We are all witnesses.