It’s time once again for the onslaught of college football bowl games and all of the sponsors that go along with them. So that’s how we decided to rank these games.
Well, it’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about the ridiculous amount of jewelry commercials that will dominate your television screen for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas, but it’s time once again for the magical season of college football bowl games, 41 to be exact (and that’s not including the College Football Playoff National Championship game), and some of the amazingly absurd sponsors that accompany them.
The action gets underway on Saturday, Dec. 17 with six games on the docket and at least one game will follow every day until Jan. 2. Well, as long as that day isn’t a Sunday. The NCAA wants nothing to do with competing with the NFL, which means that there will be no games on Christmas Day or New Year’s Day. And I’m not sure how I feel about a New Year’s Day without bowl games (maybe some of you can find a way to blame that on Trump), but I suppose that’s for another day.
Now, as much fun as it would be to break down each and every bowl game by coach or the players or the matchup itself, that’s not what we’re here to do today. Sure, I’ll let you know which teams are playing in each bowl and the when and where, but I thought it might be even more fun if we took a look at the absurdity that has become the names of these games.
Look, I understand that sponsors play a huge part in the sports world and that these dollars are necessary to give us the product that we see on the screen. But it’s really gotten out of hand, don’t you think? And while some of these bowl games still have their original name, some games like the famous Gator Bowl, which has been around since 1946 and was the first to ever be aired nationally, have completely lost their title.
So let’s get into this. And just in case you’re reading this and work for any of these companies and become offended, let me take this opportunity to tell you to relax. If these organizations can pony up the dough to sponsor a bowl game, I’m sure they’re doing just fine and won’t mind if I poke a little fun. Enjoy.
41. Birmingham Bowl
South Carolina vs. South Florida
Thursday, December 29, 2:00 PM on ESPN
Legion Field, Birmingham, AL
Let’s kick things off with the bowl games that actually don’t even have a sponsor, beginning with the Birmingham Bowl. BBVA Compass used to be the sponsor of this game but chose not to renew its deal a couple of years ago and nobody has stepped up to take their place. Not to worry, ESPN owns and operates this game and I think we all know well things are currently going over there. Hopefully someone will come in soon to save this great contest that dates all the way back to 2006.
40. Boca Raton Bowl
Memphis vs. Western Kentucky
Tuesday, December 20, 7:00 PM on ESPN
FAU Stadium, Boca Raton, FL
Speaking of a storied history, the Boca Raton Bowl enters its third year of existence. Introduced as simply the Boca Raton Bowl in 2014, this game actually had a sponsor last year in Marmot, which made absolutely no sense whatsoever seeing as they make clothes and equipment for those who deal with a lot of snow. Maybe it’s just me but that didn’t really compute to a bowl game in sunny Boca Raton, did it? Perhaps that’s why we’re back to simply the Boca Raton Bowl.
39. St. Petersburg Bowl
Miami (OH) vs. Mississippi State
Monday, December 26, 11:00 AM on ESPN
Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, FL
I know, I know. We’re all missing the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl and the Bitcoin Bowl but sadly those sponsorships have gone by the wayside and the bowl that is constantly overshadowed by the Outback Bowl across the bay. But I suppose that St. Petersburg is constantly overshadowed by Tampa anyway. But hey, St. Petersburg does have a really good newspaper.
38. Miami Beach Bowl
Central Michigan vs. Tulsa
Monday, December 19, 2:30 PM on ESPN
Marlins Park, Miami, FL
Another bowl game in its third year of existence, the Miami Beach Bowl is at least entertaining. In two years, there’s been a total of 183 points scored. So there’s that. And it’s a bowl game in Miami Beach so I suppose there’s that as well. It’s a bunch of college athletes kicking back and soaking in the rays of South Beach. What could possibly go wrong?
37. Hawai’i Bowl
Hawai’i vs. Middle Tennessee
Saturday, December 24, 8:00 PM on ESPN
Aloha Stadium, Honolulu, HI
It’s hard to believe that a bowl game in Hawaii would have problems getting a sponsor but that’s the deal with the 14-year-old Hawai’i Bowl. I know, that apostrophe is pretty awesome, isn’t it. ConAgra Foods and Sheraton Hotels have been sponsors in the past but this game hasn’t had a major name attached to it in two years. Luckily, this thrilling matchup between Hawaii and Middle Tennessee should keep people away from their families the night before Christmas.
36. TaxSlayer Bowl
Georgia Tech vs. Kentucky
Saturday, December 31, 11:00 AM on ESPN
EverBank Field, Jacksonville, FL
Okay, now we can finally get into some actual sponsors and we’ll start with TaxSlayer, who became the sixth major sponsor of what used to be called the Gator Bowl, which as I mentioned in the opening was first played in 1946. And perhaps it’s not TaxSlayer.com’s fault but the reason they’re the worst sponsor on this list is simply because the name “Gator Bowl” doesn’t even appear after it anymore. At least Mazda, Outback, Toyota, Konica Minolta and Progressive had the decency to keep it. Did Dale Earnhardt, Jr. put you up to it? Did he? Did he?