Gift Ideas For The Guy You Really Don’t Care About

Looking for a last-minute gift for that special guy you in your life that you really don’t care about? Sure, you could go out and get him something he really wants or needs. Maybe a nice pair of socks or an expensive bottle of wine to wash away the dread of the coming year without all the painful sulfates. I am sure that you are being inundated with really thoughtful articles on GQ or Huffington Post about the hot items every man should own. But what do you get for that husband/boyfriend/dad that you want to gut punch? While I have helped you out by breaking it down by sport, you will need to take the 12 minutes to do a little research that aligns with your “Loved Ones” specific teams. Or not.

NFL
Have a Cleveland Browns fan in your life? Well first, congratulations because his Sundays are free by early October. Want to brighten is day? How about a game worn Jabaal Sheard jersey. You know, nothing says “I loathe you” more than wasting $300 on a game worn jersey for a forgettable player who hasn’t played a down for the Browns in three years.

Side note: if you REALLY hate this SPORTS FAN, .et him a signed Johnny Manziel helmet. But hurry! There are only a few left.

NBA
This item really writes itself and needs no explanation: Miami Heat Licensed Birdman Underwear. I am pretty sure that Birdman has not played for the Heat for a few years and, yet, his old team is selling underwear in his name. Also, yes, there is an underwear who’s description involves the words “Heat” and ‘Birdman’.

MLB
Does your guy root for a team who’s owners fell for a Ponzi scheme and your stud pitcher might have missed opening day because he contracted an STD? It can’t be much worse than that, but you could buy them a Mets wine bottle holder that comes in the shape of a high heel. If you ask nicely, the Mets might throw in the classy glass of rubber grapes and side of styrofoam cheese.

Matt Harvey wondering if he forgot to take his antibiotics this morning.

NHL
So your man is lucky enough to live in the Garden State and he doesn’t root for the Rangers like all of his friends? How about dropping $100 of yours (or his) hard-earned cash on a signed photo of a player who is 48 years old and playing on his 15th team?

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Hoping this list was helpful as you hustle to get something under the tree for him other than credit card debt. If none of the items work out for you, just know that you can always get him a braided belt at the grocery store or a pair of CVS slippers. Oh and Marry Christmas and stuff.