You can apply now to be a Dallas Cowboys bandwagon fan

You can root for Dak, Zeke and the rest with a clear conscience throughout the playoffs, but we need you to answer a few questions first …

Every true Dallas Cowboys fan has a story, even if it’s simply one that involves growing up in the Dallas area.

For yours truly, fandom began when my dad’s law partner (who hailed from Texas) would bring in copied of Dallas Cowboys Weekly and leave them sitting around the office. I taught myself how to read using those newsletters, and I figured any team that contributed to my literacy was worthy of my loyalty as well.

Bandwagon fans have it much easier, since they can simply hop on board with America’s Team any time they so choose. Or they could until today, when the Cowboys unveiled an official application for a seat on the bandwagon:

Amazingly, if you hit the link, you can indeed download the application in PDF form. It’s perfect for printing out and handing to your friend who you suspect might be eyeing up an Ezekiel Elliott jersey every time he heads to the mall.

Note also that you’ll be asked to reapply prior to the beginning of the 2017 season, though one has to ask this obvious question: if the Cowboys crash out against the Packers this weekend and the applicant still wants to come back for more instead of singing the praises of Aaron Rodgers, might they be on their way to becoming a True Fan™?

(Insert thinking face emoji here.)

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I’m not sure I speak for all Cowboys fans, but in order to keep people away from making dreadful mistakes like supporting the New England Patriots, we welcome your temporary assistance in cheering the ‘Boys on the road to another ring. Just complete the necessary paperwork and we’ll see you on Sunday.