Premier League action returns this weekend. Here are five completely ludicrous predictions about what’s in store.
Every week we have the great fortune of watching some unbelievable soccer in the Premier League. However, there’s never enough attention paid to the weekend’s minor moments. In light of this, we’ve made five bold predictions not so much about what will happen this weekend, but about what, if there’s any justice in this world, should. You heard it here first.
1. Step Up Old Trafford: Mourinho vs. Klopp
The biggest game of the weekend has been saved for last as Manchester United host Liverpool at Old Trafford on Sunday. Despite not being from the same city, the two clubs have developed an intense rivalry over the years which is now in the hands of their inspirational leaders, Jose Mourinho and Jurgen Klopp.
The managers are two of the most animated and exciting in the game, and their touchline antics will surely attract plenty of attention, especially if the game is anywhere near as boring as the reverse fixture at Anfield earlier this season. The only reasonable conclusion to all this managerial hype is a touchline dance-off between Klopp and Mourinho.
Klopp will probably start off with some mean break-dancing in the technical area, while Mourinho replies with a smooth Tango accompanied by assistant coach Rui Faria. Rumor has it Peter Crouch has actually been coaching Klopp on how to do the perfect robot. Hopefully Old Trafford has some kind of voting system in place to decide a winner.
2. N’Golo Kante accidentally covers Leicester’s midfield
It almost goes without saying that if Leicester didn’t have N’Golo Kante last season, they wouldn’t have won the Premier League. The Frenchman played at an unbelievable level, and made life unbearable for opposition midfielders and attackers. His coverage was so good it became an internet meme.
This weekend Kante will play his first match at the King Power Stadium as a member of the opposition, which for obvious sentimental reasons could become confusing. Diego Costa and the rest of Chelsea’s attack are in for a surprise on Saturday as Kante starts bossing them off the ball and running the Foxes midfield once again.
3. Someone other than Jermain Defoe scores for Sunderland
Life must seem cruel to Sunderland fans. The Black Cats have had it rough in recent years, only barely surviving in each of the past few seasons. However, they’ve had one shining light this term in the form of ex-England striker Jermain Defoe. The former Spurs hitman still possesses a huge goalscoring threat even at the age of 34, so huge, in fact, it seems to have absorbed every other goal threat in the Sunderland squad.
On Saturday, David Moyes’ side host Stoke, who have not exactly been resolute at the back this season. This means there’s a chance, a real life, non-zero chance, someone else scores for Sunderland this weekend. But who will it be? Sebastian Larsson? Wahbi Khazri? Perhaps even Papy Djilobodji? Tune in on Saturday to find out.
4. Michail Antonio plays entire game using only his head
Michail Antonio was one of the surprise players of last season. The Hammers bought Antonio from Nottingham Forest and he quickly became a key player for Slaven Bilic’s side. Not much has changed this season, as Antonio is West Ham’s top scorer with an impressive eight goals. The real story of Antonio’s season, however, is the fact almost all of those goals have been headers.
In fact, Antonio’s head has been so effective this season we think he might forego using his feet altogether against Crystal Palace at the weekend. Last ditch tackles, shots and even dribbles. You name it, Antonio can probably do it with his head.
5. Swansea sack Paul Clement at half time
It’s been a rough season for Swansea fans so far. They’ve been stuck in the relegation zone almost the entire time and now they’re on their third manager in five months after the sackings of Francesco Guidolin and Bob Bradley. Neither of those men could do a good enough job for the Swans, and now they’ve turned to former Bayern Munich and Real Madrid assistant coach, Paul Clement.
Next: 25 best club soccer teams of all time
Clement lost his first game in charge 2-0 against Hull in the FA Cup third round, so he’s on thin ice. It doesn’t get any easier at the weekend when a rejuvenated Arsenal side visit the Liberty Stadium. With Swansea’s shaky defense and the Gunners’ attacking prowess, this game could be over by halftime, in which case the Swansea board will be left with only one option: sack Clement during the interval.