Lane Kiffin’s FAU “Hype” Clip Might Be The Worst Video Ever Made

Lane Kiffin is the new head football coach at Florida Atlantic University and boy oh boy does he seem thrilled to hold such a prestigious honor.

This recently released, highly deflating (and hilarious) “hype” video you see above was clearly intended to get fans excited and entice recruits with the dawn of a new era, but I’m not so sure Lane was feelin’ it that day.

In fact, I’m not so sure Lane Kiffin is even alive.

He comes across like a guy who just found out he’s impotent shortly after learning he will be forced to coach all games in a onesie next season, which is all news that came after Kiffin learned from one of his assistants that a new Twitter poll indicated a hot dog is not a sandwich.

Seriously, this has the feel of someone reluctantly pitching a product for a friend, and he hates both the product AND his friend.

I can pretty much guarantee that you will never be less convinced about anything in this world than when Kiffin flatly says “what an exciting time” at the 8-second mark.

However, if the secret mission of this video and its scintillating background music was to cause recruits to decommit and current players to frantically flee the country, then Lane knocked this one out of the park.

Here’s a cleaner look at the hostage footage from the school itself, but all credit goes to Busted Coverage for unearthing this gem:

UPDATE: Well, I guess @FAU_Football finally soaked in enough mockery to realize just how bad the final and possibly only cut was, so they deleted their original tweet.

And that’s really a shame because we all love it to pieces:

But trust me, it was there and they have been promoting this beautiful piece of junk with great vigor since January 27:

Commit today!

Riiiiiiight. Gonna go ahead and speak on behalf of recruits across the nation and offer up a swift, sweeping “nah.”

But in an effort to keep things fair and balanced, here’s a piece of advice for the athletic director at FAU:

Equip your squinting head coach with a pair of sunglasses, an 8-pack of Gatorade Frost, and a comfortable cave to nap in for the next week.

Lane needs it.

Badly.

*****

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