Defending champions Leicester continue their free fall toward relegation. How did the rest of the league fare?
20. Middlesbrough (LW: 19)
Boro played to a scoreless draw against an admittedly much stronger Everton side. They’re a smashing defensive side, but defense makes for lackluster viewing. Victor Valdes continues to act as a bright spot for a team in danger of relegation.
19. Sunderland (LW: 18)
In the wake of Jermain Defoe’s being awarded Player of the Year at the North East Football Writers Awards, the Black Cats headed to New York for training in probable subzero weather. With the relegation battle looking like it will go down to the wire, perhaps a timely bit of frostbite will shock Sunderland into competency.
18. Bournemouth (LW: 17)
It goes from bad to worse for the Cherries, who fell hard to Manchester City, shooting themselves in the foot in the process. Jack Wilshire suffered an ankle injury which Eddie Howe insists is not a problem, but that nevertheless knocks Bournemouth below Wilshire’s parent club.
17. Arsenal (LW: 20)
Another year of disappointment, another year full of second half questions regarding Arsene Wenger’s future. Even with a 2-0 victory over Hull, former Arsenal players Ian Wright and Martin Keown have speculated on whether Wenger or the club is ready to move on just yet. In related news, this will be ranking text in 2019, 2022 and 2025.
16. Hull (LW: 10)
Speaking of which, the Tigers’ loss curtailed any sort of momentum they could have built following the defeat of Liverpool a week prior. Nevertheless, after a run of tough league games, the schedule opens up for Marco Silva as he continues the club’s reclamation tour. They figure to be a tough opponent from now until the end of the season.
15. Watford (LW: 16)
The Hornets suffered a stinging (thank you, merci) defeat at the hands of Manchester United, and then captain Troy Deeney found himself in an altercation with a police officer at a Birmingham nightclub the following evening. Deeney once received a 10-month prison sentence, of which he only served three months, for kicking a man in the head. Now, if he could just transfer that energy to the ball …
14. Stoke (LW: 13)
Brave Joe Allen came to the Potters’ rescue once again, scoring the only goal in a win over Palace. As an on-record fan of his early season exploits, watching Allen sink the Eagles after blowing a golden opportunity earlier was particularly satisfying.
13. Southampton (LW : 15)
Losing Virgil van Dijk had been even more costly than expected, but a 4-0 victory over Sunderland proved to be something of a remedy. Apropos of almost nothing relevant, Brendan Rodgers took the opportunity to slam Liverpool officials for discouraging the signing of van Dijk once upon a time. We live and we learn.
12. Manchester City (LW: 11)
Even if Gabriel Jesus is going to be out for an extended period, that just means more of Sergio Aguero getting to prove why he still belongs. Pep Guardiola may have a quandary in the long-term, but Aguero remains one of the best players in the world, and his forced own goal shows the element of danger he carries.
11. Tottenham (LW: 14)
Mauricio Pochettino’s haggard bunch of ne’er-do-wells came up short in a vital and rare opportunity to pick up points on Chelsea. Now, whispers are starting to become murmurs that Pochettino has hit a wall and is unable to change the mentality of a talented yet lacking Spurs side.
10. West Brom (LW: 7)
In stoppage time, Jonny Evans ripped the Hammers’ heart out, sautéed it and served it to his teammates with a lovely rice pilaf, causing Slaven Bilic to hurl a television microphone in disgust. It was a smashing bit of live schadenfreude.
9. Everton (LW: 6)
The Toffees extended their unbeaten streak to eight matches, albeit in somewhat ugly fashion, against Middlesbrough. With all eyes on Romelu Lukaku, including those of big clubs throughout Europe, the striker came up empty, but he makes Everton constantly and eminently entertaining by his sheer presence.
8. Chelsea (LW: 12)
Even with the draw against Burnley, the Blues are distantly clear at the top of the table, strolling right along in an apocalyptic death march to the title. Antonio Conte managed to get entwined with one of Jose Mourinho’s macho head games when the latter referred to Chelsea as a “defensive team” that wins with “counter attacks” …
7. Manchester United (LW: 8)
… oh, hello there. Despite being fourteen goals behind Chelsea’s offensive output, Chairman Mou tested Conte anyway. After beating Watford 2-0 on the strength of goals from Anthony Martial and Juan Mata, the Red Devils sit right on the cusp of a top four spot.
6. Burnley (LW: 9)
Please allow Robbie Brady to reintroduce himself to the Premier League. The 25-year-old former United youth player scored a stunning free-kick to lead the Clarets to the draw with Chelsea. In only his second league game for Burnley, Brady curled home a magnificent strike.
5. West Ham (LW: 5)
Without recent sparkplug Andy Carroll there to sop up some of the attention, the Wests – Brom and Ham, not Kanye and Kim – drew, with Michail Antonio failing to capitalize on the opportunity Carroll provided him by not being match-fit. Nevertheless, Slaven Bilic is campaigning for Carroll to get an England call-up, despite what Bilic’s own boss thinks.
4. Crystal Palace (LW: 3)
Oy, Palace are in a bind, aren’t they? Hours after dropping the tight contest with Stoke, Eagles defender James Tomkins expressed his confidence that Sam Allardyce is “the man to get us out of this situation.” Palace haven’t scored in league play since Jan. 3, which seems vastly untenable.
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3. Swansea (LW: 4)
As the Daily Mail put it so tactfully, the Swans “heap(ed) more misery” on Leicester with their 2-0 triumph. Swansea have really taken a shine to having little to lose recently; it seems their primary concern at this point is to avoid relegation, and to have fun doing it. For the team which has allowed the most goals in the Premier League, there are far worse fates.
2. Liverpool (LW: 1)
The Reds picked up a massively important three points against Tottenham on Saturday in their first league win of 2017 on the back of a brilliant Sadio Mane performance. Afterward, a stoked Jurgen Klopp asserted that Liverpool remain alive in the title race, which, while true, will take more than a single victory to prove.
1. Leicester (LW: 2)
With a 2-0 loss to Swansea on Sunday, the Foxes continue to pull at the lovely sweater they’d made in winning the title a season ago. Claudio Ranieri has admitted to perhaps a bit of favoritism in trying to coax key players (hello, Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez) out of increasingly long slumps.