Man vs. Beast: 10 NFL players, animals that should fight each other

6. J.J. Watt vs. Western Lowland Gorilla

Fighter Statistics

J.J. Watt: 6-foot-6, 290 pounds

Western Gorilla: up to 5-foot-11, weighs between 300-600 pounds

Advantages

J.J. Watt: barbaric, brute strength

Western Gorilla: resourceful, instinctive

Disadvantages

J.J. Watt: soft personality off-the-field

Western Gorilla: succumbed to laziness

This is one of the most primitive matches as it features one of the hardest hitters in the NFL taking on one of the most popular animals in the animal kingdom. Unless triggered, both Watt and a Western lowland gorilla typically have laid back personas. Unlike the perception that gorillas are inherently violent, they normally lounge within their environment. Watt, on the other hand, acts like a gorilla on game day, but he’s usually busy eyeing Jennifer Aniston or being filmed in a Papa John’s commercial when he goes home. Since things seem casual between the two, there needs to be grounds for fighting.

For the essence of the fight to truly come out, it should be fought on familiar territory: the football field. It may be home field advantage for Watt, but mind you, the gorilla, in turn, is being placed in an unknown world with a crazed defensive lineman. While Watt has an advantage in height, the Western gorilla counteracts that statistic with raw body weight.

Though the gorilla has never been offered a football scholarship, this fight wouldn’t be monkey business to him. Gorillas are highly intelligent and intuitive; whereas Watt would act more starstruck. As long as the gorilla targets Watt’s sensitive back, it should win hands down.