Man vs. Beast: 10 NFL players, animals that should fight each other

5. Ezekiel Elliott vs. Sloth

Fighter Statistics

Ezekiel Elliott: 6-foot, 225 pounds

Sloth: up to 2.5-feet, weighs up to 17 pounds

Advantages

Ezekiel Elliott: read the stories of Adonis and Hercules, then merge the two

Sloth: above average climber, lengthy claws

Disadvantages

Ezekiel Elliott: crop tops might slow him down

Sloth: famed for being a couch potato

It’s very much so an odd thing to put a 225-pound man against a 17-pound sack of fur, but there’s truth to this, in all sincerity. Not surprisingly, this battle of man versus beast is a tale of an underdog – a sloth, in this case. Considered by a majority of people, the sloth is a lethargic creature, who minds its own business. But as a fortune cookie once noted, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Like most animals, sloths tend to leave you alone unless picked upon. If, say, Ezekiel Elliott climbed up a sloth’s tree, where it’s resting peacefully, then manure might hit the fan.

That piece of advice is more than truth, especially when it comes down to the sloth’s claws. There’s also a question about the sloth’s speed, which is around three meters per minute, or approximately 30 feet.  Much to the dismay of Zeke, who ran a 4.47 40-yard dash at the 2016 NFL Combine, the sloth is better off hanging from a tree. But if Zeke so happens to be afraid of heights, then the sloth can evade him using that method. Overall, if luck is any friend to a sloth, then Zeke will end up cuddled up in a makeshift pot that’s large enough for a human of his stature to squeeze in.