RAW recap: March 27, 2017 — Final showdowns before WrestleMania

The final episode of RAW before WrestleMania always has a few showdowns to tease the biggest event of the year, and this one was no exception.

Jax’d up

We kicked off WrestleMania week with the women of RAW competing in a joust of jabber, getting us excited for their Fatal Four Way match for Bayley’s RAW Women’s Championship. Charlotte showed Bayley a tweet that Sasha sent out back in their NXT days, where Sasha was shown hugging Charlotte and the caption read, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” (With this being the second week in a row where Twitter is used as a prop to fuel a fire, they should really consider becoming a title sponsor for WrestleMania. Makes a lot more sense than Stacker 2.) Sasha came out to defend herself, but Nia Jax didn’t feel like staying out of the spotlight and showed up to force her will.

This caused an impromptu Tag Team Match to start off the show, as Sasha and Bayley defeated Charlotte and Nia Jax. The celebration didn’t last long between the champ and her “friend,” as Nia Jax took them both out immediately. In case there was any doubt of Jax’s intentions, she then put Charlotte on her back and ended the segment holding the title over her head.

For some reason, people may not consider her a favorite for the title match, but she’s my pick. She’s the strongest and meanest of the bunch and has the least baggage. Sasha and Bayley will come to blows during the match eventually, and let’s not forget about the wildcard, Dana Brooke, having a reason to prevent her former mentor from holding the belt. If Charlotte’s undefeated PPV streak was still alive, perhaps I could see her winning outright, but I think it’s Nia Jax’s time. Like her theme song says 5,000 times, she’s not like most girls.

Seth signs

The only match from RAW that was written on the card in pencil, not pen, was Triple H vs. Seth Rollins. Before they each signed the contract that guaranteed Rollins is unable to sue WWE in case he injures his knee past the point of no return, Triple H explained all the bad things that will happen to Rollins’ knee.

I could listen to Triple H talk for hours. I want Triple H to host the Oscars. I want Triple H to host SportsCenter. I want Triple H to officiate my wedding. I want Triple H to never retire. Rollins talked about how he was a better man before he met Triple H, and while that may be true, it won’t mean much when they come to blows on Sunday. They each took some parting shots at each other, both teasing but not quite executing a Pedigree. If Seth is going to Pedigree the King, let’s hope it’s the best one he will ever do. That will be hard, because like Trips said, a one legged man has never won an ass-kicking contest. I eventually pondered whether this will be Seth Rollins’ last match, not only in WWE, but also in his life.

If Rollins’ injury is as serious as it seems to be, it’s impossible to guarantee that he doesn’t permanently damage it in Orlando. There’s no chance Triple H doesn’t give his all this match, as he’s not getting any younger. Rollins seems like the type of guy who would sacrifice his body for an incredible WrestleMania match, and while it may be fun to watch in the moment, there’s a reason this guy was the overall number one draft pick last year: to carry the RAW brand for years to come. If he’s unable to do that, his career could become one of the ultimate “what if?” examples.

Whose yard is it anyway?

Undertaker was shown throughout the night digging a grave, which is obviously meant for Roman Reigns’ corpse after ‘Taker rips his soul out. There was a moment where Reigns was talking in the ring and mentioned winning the Royal Rumble in the very arena he was standing in, to which the crowd responded with a sea of boos. This wasn’t out of the norm, but Reigns’ smirk during those boos gave us a glimpse into what he could be like as a heel, and honestly, I wouldn’t be mad about it.

WWE missed the boat five years ago on turning John Cena heel, and I don’t think they’ll do it again, especially since every crowd seems to get aroused whenever they get a chance to boo Reigns. Cena’s fanbase was genuine and massive. The people who are loyal to Reigns, while they exist, are completely outnumbered. The WWE production team always has its finger on the crowd mute button, like they did last year at WrestleMania, because it’s easier to convince people to root for someone if they can’t hear 100,000 boos from their TV.

So what does this mean for WrestleMania? If Reigns beats ‘Taker, and then ‘Taker retires, does that make Reigns the bad guy? Reigns is probably going to defeat the Dead Man (even though he doesn’t believe in dead men), but it’s not about the what, it’s about the how. If Reigns completely destroys Undertaker, I’m talking about making him look like Braun Strowman made all those jobbers look right after the brand split, that may be the best way to turn him heel. If he does his usual match ending (dazed, hulking up, Superman Punch, Spear, pinfall), people will be pretty pissed, especially since we’ve seen that a million times.

Perhaps the best way for Reigns to become the bad guy is to humiliate ‘Taker by using his own move set against him. Can you imagine the riots if Undertaker’s career is ended via a Tombstone Piledriver, then Reigns does the pinfall after, tongue out and all? Or, rather than tongue out, he puts on that same smirk he had during RAW? I’m more excited for this match the more I think of it.

We talkin’ ‘bout ladders?

In a backstage segment, Sheamus & Cesaro were attacked from behind by Gallows & Anderson. Eventually, ladders were used because ladders make everything better. During an in-ring promo by Enzo & Cass later in the night, Gallows & Anderson were walking down the ring to confront the other tag team they will face, when Sheamus & Cesaro got some retribution, also by way of the ladder. This time, the ladder went right in the backs of Gallows & Anderson, and eventually Enzo & Cass. By the end of the broadcast, it still hadn’t been announced that this match would be a Ladder Match, but it was sure insinuated. This match will be fun regardless, and I see the Certified G and the seven-footer holding the belts for the first time when it’s all said and done.

Final face-to-face

Paul Heyman did his thing tonight, including praying for Goldberg in Yiddish and coming up with a rhyme that’d make Dr. Seuss consider going back for his PhD. again: “You can’t survive … the F-5.” Goldberg didn’t feel like doing any talking but wanted to bring a WrestleMania preview to Philly. Goldberg immediately speared Lesnar on the ramp in a fight that has been on brand with his recent return: one move and the opponent is done. Lesnar scampered back to the locker room, but I don’t think he is much too phased going into WrestleMania. This match will most likely be the closer to WrestleMania, so hopefully, it will last longer than 40 seconds. (I say that now, but once we’re 6 hours and 53 minutes into the show before we see Goldberg walking to the ring, I may be singing a different tune.)

Next: Updated WrestleMania 33 card following the March 27 RAW

Highlight reel

• Sami Zayn’s night had the highest stakes of anyone, as he fought in a No Disqualification Match against Kevin Owens. If Zayn won, he was in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Match. If he lost, he’d be (in my best Vince voice) FIREDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Samoa Joe came out to help his Authority buddy, but not before Jericho’s music hit, distracting Owens enough for Zayn to get the pinfall. There were no real stakes in this one for Owens, though it would have been a nice feather in his cap to have retired his former best friend. Samoa Joe still doesn’t have a match lined up for WrestleMania, but I have a feeling his presence will be felt. As for Kevin Owens, well, HE JUST MADE THE (NEW) LIST!!!!
• On the cruiserweight front, Austin Aries made Noam Dar tap out while Neville provided insightful, fit-for-a-king commentary. Neville vs. Aries for the Cruiserweight Championship is the dark horse to steal the show at WrestleMania. WWE announced that this match, along with the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Match, will be on the Kickoff Show. I think WWE is making a big mistake here, as the last RAW PPV, Fastlane, would have completely stunk had it not been for Neville putting on a clinic with Jack Gallagher.
• Speaking of Neville vs. Gallagher, they had themselves a little rematch. It was nowhere near as epic as their fight at Fastlane, but with only six days until WrestleMania, nobody really had expected it to be. Neville defeated Gallagher, but his celebration was cut short when Austin Aries appeared backstage to interview the WrestleMania hosts, the New Day about who they thought the winner of the Cruiserweight Championship Match would be. Naturally, they stayed on brand and picked the good guy.
• We got a preview of the jobber… I mean Andre Battle Royal with a mini Battle Royal featuring Big Show, Jinder Mahal, Bo Dallas, Shining Stars, Goldust, R-Truth, Curtis Axel, and eventually, Braun Strowman. Honestly, I’m not sure if this match had any meaning, but it took seven men to throw Big Show over the top rope. Show came back in the ring (because what are rules honestly?) and took out everyone that was standing. Strowman eventually came out and had a stare-down with Show. Strowman said he’s going to wait until Sunday to get his hands on Big Show. This match really didn’t have a winner, nor am I sure it had a purpose. Either way, Big Show and Braun competing to throw over every single man in the match could be fun.
• New Day promoted their ice cream, cereal,and lime green t-shirts by running up the stairs that Rocky Balboa made famous. It’s like the Italian Stallion said, “It ain’t about how hard you get hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep gyrating your hips.”
• I’m not sure when “Am I Savage” by Metallica became one of the songs of the WrestleMania soundtrack, but I couldn’t be more about it. Using it during the preview of HHH/Rollins gave my goosebumps goosebumps. It was the best match promo since Limp Bizkit’s “My Way” was used for the WrestleMania 17 match between Rock/Austin.