John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse
What we learned: We learned here that Nikki Bella apparently has no real clue.
Al Roker was out there for some reason to do the announcements for this match while Jerry “The King” Lawler filled in for David Otunga on commentary, which at least made this train wreck (get it, John Cena was in the movie Trainwreck) watchable. Seriously, was the only point of this match to get to the post-match festivities? Because The Miz deserved a lot better than that after the year that he had.
At least The Miz did get a lot of offense in on Cena in the opening minutes of this match and he played to the crowd nicely. The faces really didn’t get the advantage until Cena tagged in Nikki, who went on to dominate Maryse. Cena and Nikki did the double Five Knuckle Shuffle and both hit their finishers for a double pin and all the cuteness that’s supposed to go along with it. I did find it funny that the referee had to wait for Nikki before starting his count. Pretty funny.
Following the match, as everybody in the world was expecting, except for Nikki Bella herself apparently (seriously, why do you think your parents were at ringside?), John Cena grabbed a microphone and talked and talked and talked for a while before pulling out a rock that was almost as big as Dwayne Johnson, proposing right there in the middle of the ring as the live crowd really didn’t know what to do. As I’m watching, I really didn’t either. The whole thing just looked so silly and I know I’m supposed to be happy for them and everything but it just wasn’t entertaining to me at all. And I’m not even one of the Cena haters in the world so don’t think that’s the only reason I’m writing this. It just did nothing for me — the match or the proposal. But I’m sure People and US Weekly and all the rest of those magazines will do something on it so mission accomplished, I guess.
What’s next: As long as I don’t have to see that match ever again, I honestly don’t care what the hell happens next with this whole thing.