It’s Opening Week in MLB and everybody’s excited. Status quo: Baseball is still fun in every major league city. Here’s what made baseball fun this week.
Before we go down this rabbit hole of weirdness, I’d like to take a moment to explain the genesis of this column. I grew up a die-hard Atlanta Braves fan. Until I was a junior in high school in suburban Atlanta, the Braves made the NL postseason every fall. The 14 straight NL East division titles were awesome, but I realized that losing was going to happen at some point.
The Braves would put together the occasionally decent regular season and lose in the NLDS; it became The Braves Way. The year 2013 was a lot of fun. It made me forget about Andrelton Simmons popping up on the first pitch somewhere near short in the infamous Infield Fly Rule Game. That call was trash, just like the debris Braves Country through onto the Turner Field dirt.
The following three years were beyond painful to endure as a Braves fan. The tail-end of the Fredi Gonzalez era was absolute torture to endure through a television. I knew he was going to make the wrong decision with his bullpen every single time he went to the mound. After that 2015 debacle, baseball and myself broke up after a 25-year marriage.
Two years later, I’m ready to start dating the sport again. I’m cool with the Braves doing what they’re going to do this summer. If they win, great. If not, just keep me interested. Every week I while try to find stories that happen in the bigs that embrace the quirkiness of America’s Pastime. Bryce Harper wants to make baseball great again. Though you play for a rival, we’re in this together, bro.
Don’t try to tell me you don’t like quirkiness in baseball? You do and that’s why Fenway Park and Wrigley Field continue to be awesome. We don’t need the next Bill “Spaceman” Lee, but we will tip the cap to guys that make baseball fun each week.
I will also point out one thing that embodies The Human Rain Delay, highlighting instances where baseball aggravates me. Mike Hargrove taking his pitch-ly stroll around the infield was noted in his heyday, but I’m pretty sure the AL Central hated that. They got plains to catch and more baseball to play.
Let’s have fun, let’s keep it weird, and let’s play ball. Here’s what made baseball fun this week.
Can’t stop the MadBum rush, so let’s put him in the Home Run Derby now
Madison Bumgarner doesn’t have to try all that hard to make baseball fun every time he toes the rubber for the San Francisco Giants. The guy’s a champion and his left hand is better than yours. He’s a four-time All-Star, a Silver Slugger and a World Series MVP. It’s kind of embarrassing that he doesn’t have a Cy Young to his name, but that’s not why he made baseball fun this week.
Bumgarner hit two home runs on Opening Day against the NL West rival Arizona Diamondbacks. He doesn’t like snakes very much, so the finest piece of lumber from North Carolina took out his frustrations on some baseballs in the desert. Bumgarner took Zack Greinke’s fifth inning offering on a Careless Whisper over the Chase Field fence. Next time up, Bumgarner crushed Andrew Chafin’s pitch over the wall for a two-run afternoon.
It’s a bummer that Mark Melancon blew that save. San Francisco lost to Arizona, 6-5. Bumgarner gave the Giants a chance to win on the mound with three earned runs in seven innings and the dude hit two home runs to elevate the Giants’ offense. Basically, we need to get Bumgarner in the Home Run Derby. It’s in South Beach this July, so why not set the stage to let Bumgarner steal everybody’s sunshine. At the plate, you can’t stop the MadBum rush.
New York knows its fragrances. The Mets still like the Big Sexy Colon
It’s understood. The Braves and the New York Mets don’t really like each other. It doesn’t come as a surprise given their nature as NL East rivals. One thing that both teams can agree on: Bartolo Colon is awesome and needs to be the Jaromir Jagr of the big leagues, trying to play ball/puck until death. Ichiro Suzuki wants to do this too, but Colon is the baseball fragrance everybody likes.
Colon got an amazing showing on Opening Day afternoon by the Citi Field faithful. The Mets fans paid him respect with a standing ovation when the greatest hitter alive came to plate during his start for the visiting Braves on Wednesday night.
He didn’t hit a home run or lose his helmet on a swing, but he did carry his bat with him to first base on a weak grounder in one at-bat. Mets starter Jacob deGrom couldn’t stop laughing when he had to face his former teammate in the box on Wednesday night. Outside of a well-hit homer by right fielder Jay Bruce, Colon was excellent in his Braves debut. Atlanta would win in extra innings Wednesday night, 3-1, thanks to a great day at the plate from Matt Kemp.
Though Mets left fielder Yoenis Cespedes comes to the plate to the sound of The Lion King (why didn’t Simmons ever figure that out in the ATL?), Colon stole the show in Flushing Wednesday night.
There was a slight void in the lovable big guy in baseball category with David Ortiz’s retirement. Colon has reached the threshold of can’t do anything wrong like Big Papi had for years. Not to say Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon is going to put Colon on the National League All-Star roster this July, but a fifth Mid-Summer Classic for Colon is something baseball can definitely get behind.
Jeets thinking about getting in the Fish market
The days of the Miami Marlins being the most dysfunctional team in baseball might be coming to an end. Despised owner Jeffrey Loria is going to sell his Senior Circuit ball club. While the Kushner Family and the Bush Family had their interest in owning a major league team, let’s throw all our support in Derek Jeter buying the Marlins.
He and Wall Street executive Gregory Fleming are putting together an ownership group that will look to purchase the NL East franchise. Miami has two championships, including one against Jeter’s New York Yankees. That being said, this franchise needs a facelift and new ownership is the only way that’s going to change anything.
Jeter has built/managed The Players’ Tribune, which has been cool. Maybe he can rename Marlins Park to The Players’ Tribune Park? Think about all that extra revenue the Marlins could get by using Jeter’s biggest business venture to date as the park’s main advertiser.
In all seriousness, if Jeter wants to work in baseball in any capacity, he must avoid any connection to the Yankees going forward. His legacy with New York is impenetrable; he mustn’t ruin that. Buying low on the Marlins and making the postseason viable would be a great way to assert dominance over athlete moguls like David Beckham, Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning. It doesn’t matter if the Jeter Marlins are great, his addition to the organization makes them all the more interesting.
The Human Rain Delay: Baez saw the sign (it didn’t open up his eyes)
Okay — the lamest thing that happened in baseball this week was this. During Opening Night between NL Central rivals in the always-good St. Louis Cardinals and the defending World Series champion Chicago Cubs, the Ace of Second Base Javier Baez saw the sign … and missed the baseball.
Cardinals shortstop Aledmys Diaz hit a hard groundball in Baez’s direction during the bottom of the third inning. It just so happened that the signage behind home plate at Busch Stadium was a white MLB advertisement. Baez argued to the second base umpire that he misjudged the ball because of his vantage point.
Well, don’t align yourself to be staring at a white sign to field an ensuing groundball. It’s like blaming the sun for missing a pop fly. Nobody’s going to feel sorry for you misjudgng a fly ball in the sunshine. Yes, he may not have seen the baseball, but it didn’t look like Baez was paying attention during that at-bat. He seemed distracted by speedy former teammate Dexter Fowler on the base path, taking advantage of starting pitcher Jon Lester’s reluctance to throw over to first.
The whole incident was a terrible look for baseball. MLB commissioner Rob Manfred was in the booth with the national telecast on ESPN talking about all the great ways baseball is going to speed up the pace of the game. Like clockwork, Baez and Maddon delayed the game between the Cubs and the Cardinals by about seven minutes arguing over a sign. Cardinals manager Mike Matheny hated it, though his sideburns were on point per usual.
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Fowler scored from first to make it 1-0 Cardinals. The Cardinals would go on to win 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth after the Cubs put up three in their final at-bat to tie it up. Baez was the co-World Series MVP with Lester. Basically, refusing to hold the runner on and blaming on-field misfortune on a sign cost the Cubs a perfect season. If any team was going to go a perfect 162-0, it was the 2017 Cubs. Now that can’t happen and baseball is sad because of it.