WWE RAW Recap, April 10, 2017: Shaking things up on Mondays

Recapping the April 10 edition of WWE RAW, which began the much-anticipated Superstar Shakeup

Dizzy Out of the Gate

Get your salt, pepper, shake weights, and cake batter ready — there’s about to be a shakeup! There were more surprises Monday night than an all-DNA testing episode of Maury, and it didn’t take long for things to get weird, as John Cena’s music kicked off RAW. Unfortunately, Cena wasn’t the one who came out to the ramp, as The Miz and Maryse reprised their roles as the ex-Doctor of Thuganomics and his fiancée Nikki Bella. It appears Miz and Maryse — and not Cena and Nikki — are now a part of the red brand

Dean Ambrose was out next, as he appeared to present a gifted Dirty Deeds to The Miz, in case Miz had forgotten what it was like since the last time that’s happened to him, which felt like it was three weeks ago.

The Fate of the Architect

Face Seth Rollins (not his official name … yet) came out to address the fabricated elephant in the room, whether or not he will stay on RAW. Rollins fed some really corny, cliched lines before being saved by Kurt Angle’s incredible entrance music.

Angle claimed that, despite Stephanie McMahon, the RAW Commissioner, wanting Rollins off her show, him staying put would help Angle produce the best show possible. This made the Authority’s newest goon Samoa Joe, mad as hell, so naturally, he came out in an attempt to hurt the former No. 1 draft pick. This match hasn’t been officially announced yet for Payback, but if the story is booked properly — with Triple H vs. Angle being teased for SummerSlam — it could be the best storyline on Monday nights.

True Fantasy Warfare

Just when it looked like my headline for this section was going to be about Jinder Mahal’s recent woes, WWE goes and gives us the first shakeup that makes our heads literally shake. It started as a simple tune-up match for Finn Balor, and ended up being one of the few things that made my girlfriend scream “WOWOWOWOWOW!!!” since I got her hooked on WWE over the past year.

Quick side note: I went outside to take the trash out after Reigns had been tossed down five feet by Strowman while he was still on the stretcher. While I was outside, I heard a strange howl in the night. It could even have been considered a shriek. Was it wolves? No, I live in the city. Was it an owl? No, I haven’t seen an owl here in my entire life. Was it my girlfriend reacting to Strowman tipping over the ambulance Reigns was in? You betcha. I’m a lucky guy.

After Balor made quick work of Mahal, the titantron showed the face of a man. The Face … of Fear!! Bray Wyatt himself will be coming to RAW after he probably defeats Randy Orton in a House of Horrors Match. I don’t know what that even means, but I do know that Wyatt is the most unexpected feud I expected for Balor right back from his injury, but the Demon vs. the Eater of Worlds is going to tear the house down, whenever it does happen. I hope it’s not for a while, as Wyatt is at his best when involved in slow-building feuds.

Much Needed Injection

In the first women’s action of the night, Charlotte took on the still up-and-coming Nia Jax, in what may be Jax’s biggest match of her career. Obviously, WrestleMania was huge because of the spotlight, but she’s never gotten a chance to fight the most fearsome woman one-on-one. Jax picked up the victory, which isn’t that surprising when you actually look at her.

Later in the night, it seemed the women of RAW were going to get some actual story going, with Sasha Banks calling out Bayley for their feud that seemed inevitable after the tease leading up to WrestleMania. We never got to see them come to blows during that match, which got me even more excited for it to happen at this moment. Just as Sasha started giving Bayley some lip, we get a triple order of Alexa Bliss with a side order of Mickie James. Right off the bat, Bliss took on heat when she told the crowd she didn’t need approval after they cheered her. I never thought Alexa would be the big fish in a stacked RAW Women’s Division, but she looked ready for it. It was awesome.

Nia Jax ended up coming out to stare down Bayley, and her championship belt, when Alexa shoved Bayley right into Jax. Sasha, for some reason, took exception to this, and it ended up in a small brawl. The final image we saw was Jax hovering over Bayley, holding her belt high. Nia Jax is the champion we all want, but it’s going to be interesting to actually have other heel competition on the RAW Women’s Division. That wasn’t a dig at Charlotte, who is still top dog, but the division needed more players to keep things from getting stale.

Have You Accepted Braun Strowman as Your Lord and Savior?

Have you accepted Braun Strowman as your Lord and Savior? Roman Reigns sure didn’t, and now has a separated shoulder and busted ribs because of it. The beefy beanstalk of a man interrupted an interview between Reigns and Michael Cole the rudest way possible, before eventually throwing him through a table, leaning him on a garage and pushing a set equipment case into his head. This was enough to put Reigns in a stretcher, but luckily, Strowman was just getting started. Strowman intercepted Reigns on the stretcher, and pushed him off of a five-foot drop onto concrete. This may have been the most violent thing I’ve ever seen on WWE television since chairshots to the head were legal, and this was still worse than that by a long shot.

The best part? Strowman still wasn’t done!

Reigns was put into an ambulance after all of that, but Strowman wasn’t impressed. He broke into the ambulance, punched Roman in the teeth a few times, got out of the ambulance, AND FLIPPED IT OVER ON IT’S SIDE! Bravo, Braun. You’ve made my colleague Michael Whitlow a proud father. If I took that kind of beating, the only thing that would be left of me would be a finger, and some sort of Metallica t-shirt so good on you, Roman, for still being able to breathe. We will soon find out if that beating alone forced Kurt Angle to trade him to SmackDown Live, as a broken and battered Roman Reigns would still be, like, their third best guy.

Champion vs. Champion

In the main event of the evening, Intercontinental Champion Dean Ambrose fought United States Champion Kevin Owens, with the winner becoming the undisputed European Champion. (Just kidding about that last part, but didn’t I get you a smidge excited seeing the words “European” and “Champion” together?) The match itself was reminiscent of the hundred other times we’ve seen them fight each other.

This may have been the first time Ambrose actually had a crowd interested in his match since back then, or back when he was feuding with Seth Rollins before the brand split. Now that I think of it, Owens always gets a huge reaction from the crowd, as does Rollins, so maybe Ambrose has never actually been the captain of a match before, and has just gotten by due to crowd reactions of his opponents. Anyways, Ambrose picked up a big win, Jericho came out and broke Owens’ code, and RAW went off the air. A bit underwhelming, but still a decent way to cap off a fun night.

Highlight Reel

• Kurt Angle kept his GM momentum rolling into Week 2 of his reign, again putting Sami Zayn in a match, except this time instead of Jinder Mahal, it’s The Miz he will face. (Funny enough, both matches were made with the other guy interrupting Zayn talking to Angle backstage. If this happens again, he should be crowned Interrupt-inental Champion. Sorry — that was bad.) Zayn pinned The Miz, which is just what he needed. It was only a matter of time before he strung together a couple of wins in order to shake off any Dolph Ziggler thoughts. He still needs a big PPV win for legitimacy, and eventually a title, but for now, he’s 2-0 under the Angle regime, and that’s great for business.
• It was conspicuous when The New Day showed up for their match, for lack of a better word, incomplete. They entered the ring to take on The Revival, but only Xavier Woods and Big E showed up. They weren’t totally alone, as they brought along a blow-up doll (seriously!) they apparently carried around the spirit of Kofi Kingston. The absence of Kofi meant Xavier had to pick up the in-ring slack, but it proved to not be enough as The Revival picked up their second main roster win. Does this mean Kofi is now a member of SmackDown Live? It wasn’t mentioned, but can’t be ruled out until after tonight. We’ll see after he returns from injury.
• In the Cruiserweight department, Austin Aries took on TJ Perkins with Neville on commentary. (This is the first time RAW has only had one CW segment, and not two. I have to say, I much prefer it this way.) Aries is again the No. 1 contender for Neville’s Cruiserweight Championship, but was pinned by Perkins after a Neville distraction. Aries was busy barking at Neville after the match, and was attacked from behind by Perkins, who went full heel. And then he dabbed. What a deep character.
• Curt Hawkins was welcomed to the red team with a swift punch to the throat by Big Show, and that’s all that needs to be said about that.
• Some superstars were brought to RAW under the radar, whether it was via a tweet before the show (Apollo Crews) or an on-air blurb between matches (Kalisto, Heath Slater, Rhyno). ZZZzzzzZZZZZZZ.
• ELIAS SAMSON SIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• The Hardy Boyz teaming with Cesaro & Sheamus defeated The Club teaming with The Shining Stars, in what may be Gallows & Anderson’s last match on RAW. Just a prediction, but with The Club having made no impact since they’ve come to WWE — they won the title on a preshow, which just shows how lame they’ve been booked — so it’s time for them to go back to what works: a move to SmackDown Live to be reunited with their boy, AJ Styles. As for the Hardys, it was announced on WWE’s Twitter that they will defend their Tag Team Championships against Cesaro & Sheamus at Payback.
• Before learning who SmackDown Live will be poaching from RAW, we now know that their biggest draws are AJ Styles, Nakamura, Part-Time Cena, and … Becky Lynch? Tye Dillinger? Erick Rowan and Luke Harper? Maybe Shane will be having more matches than he signed up for.
• Dana Brooke announced that she will continue to fight solo, and not for any sort of partner/mentor, which is bad news for Charlotte, who could have used her help earlier in the night while she was taking a beating from Niz Jax. Maybe Brooke will be heading to SmackDown Live, or better yet, NXT to develop her character more. She has talent, but needs a gimmick tweak. Although, when standing next to Emma, as she was during this backstage segment, Brooke seemed like she could have been the best female character since Trish Stratus.
• Just eight days after WrestleMania, and Brock Lesnar (the Universal Champion) is already taking days off. As decent as this episode was, we still don’t know who Brock will face at the next PPV, or if he’ll even show up at any point until SummerSlam. This is the bad part of having a part-time champion. The only solution? Keep the belt on Brock (because of course) but pay him for more appearances. WWE literally bought a rollercoaster to be an ornament at ‘Mania, I think they can afford the man, especially one that’s suspended/retired from his other job.
• After the show, WWE.com announced that, in the most shocking one-for-one trade of the night, Byron Saxton will be heading to SmackDown Live, and will be replaced by David Otunga. I mean, if Curt Hawkins can still somehow have a job, I guess Otunga can too.