Kentucky Derby 2017: Ranking the horses by name

16. Sonneteer

Shall I win on races day

Thou art better than the Midnight Lute

I follow closely in the month of May

As I line up in the post chute

A name so complex it demands rhymes

And often leaves those confused

And in the rankings Sonneteer declines

Beneath Gunnevera he’s entombed

But Iambic Pentameter shall not fade

Although it has reached its lowest

And most dire grade

Eternal remains this palimpsest

15. Gunnevera

Gunnevera has a heart-wrenching story and I find his name to be just as unfortunate. I think the name is Latin in origin, which would make sense as the trainer is Latin. To me, it’s just a task to even say the name, which is the first and most important test in my rating system. The story goes that Gunnevera was very suddenly orphaned, but it gets better when you find out he was treated very much so like a “big puppy dog.”

14. Patch

Patch is a short and sweet name.  Unfortunately, it couldn’t be Sour Patch because of the branding rules. But I have respect for this name because it sort of domesticates the animal. It makes it feel more like a pet and a family member than it does a race horse that is competing to earn the owner money and prestige.

13. J Boys Echo

This name is among the most intriguing of the Kentucky Derby because after much research I have little to no idea what it means. I’ve considered many different potential meanings and really none of them make sense. Let your imagination run wild! This horse could be named Jennifer Lopez Boys Echo or Jerky Boys Echo or Jalapeno Boys Echo. Really, the different scenarios are endless as far as what that ‘J’ could possibly stand for.