Kentucky Derby 2017: Ranking the horses by name

12. Girvin

Girvin is widely regarded as the top horse in the Kentucky Derby. He has the most points and wins. However, his name is no better than No. 12 in my book.  Apparently, Girvin is Scottish in origin.

"“Recorded as Girvan, Girvin, and perhaps Girvane although this is believed to be extinct, this is a quite rare Scottish surname. It is locational, which in itself is unusual, as the majority of both Scottish and Irish surname are patronymic, and originates from the town and parish of Girvan in the county of Ayrshire.”"

It is a rare name, so maybe the owner thinks the horse is rare. To be frank, I just don’t like the way it sounds. It’s as if someone was rolling their tongue and trying to say Irving when they named the horse.

11. Thunder Snow

This name just seems a little bit lazy compared to all the other Kentucky Derby horses. Sure, it probably sounds nice when the announcer’s shout it, but how did they come up with the name?

The conversation could have gone like this:

"Nurse: “What should would you like to name him” Owner: “I don’t know” *Thunder crashes* Owner: “Name him Thunder… Thunder Snow”"

When does it actually thunder and snow at the same time? If it did thunder and snow at the same time, a better name for the horse would actually be ‘Snownado’.

10. Irap

This horse’s name came from a funny moment with a delivery driver. 

"“One of Paul Reddam’s unnamed babies who was being vanned to Ocean Breeze Ranch had just undergone Interluekin-1 Receptor Antagonist Protein therapy, more commonly known as IRAP, used to treat the effects of joint disease in horses. When he arrived at the farm, the van driver saw the word IRAP on the horse’s papers and assumed that was his name, so he identified the young horse as Irap. When Reddam was told about the van’s driver’s mixup the next day, he got a kick out of it and said, “Why don’t we just name him Irap?”"

Quite the origin story that Irap has and he still seems to be the butt of jokes to this day.  Because of the name Irap he’s getting bunched in with rapper M.C. Hammer.

M.C. Hammer made a one-time appearance as a Kentucky Derby horse owner way back in 1992. His horse was named Dance Floor and he actually, to the surprise of many, finished third in the Run for the Roses. Perhaps that is a good omen for Irap.

9. Classic Empire

I am a sucker for anything involving an empire. I loved reading about ancient empires in history class. My favorite Star Wars movie is Empire Strikes Back. Really, this is a name that was built for our top-10 list. In fact, this name just reeks of dominance, which is something you truly need in a thoroughbred horse’s name. The Kentucky Derby is very much the empire of horse races too, so it’s fitting considering the race.